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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28655424">Soul Fire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crochetaway/pseuds/crochetaway'>crochetaway</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Time Travel, F/M, Time Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:25:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,035</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28655424</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crochetaway/pseuds/crochetaway</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus wants his heart's desire more than anything in the world. When he finds a ritual to bring him to it, he does it without hesitation. Except, he doesn't end up in Lily Evans dormitory as expected, but twenty-one years into the future.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hermione Granger/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>551</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Potterfic's read💕, Snape Bigbang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Arrival</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <b>A/N: This was written for the Snape Bang 2020! Big thanks to the modmins at Snape Bang for hosting this fest! This would not be a fic if I hadn't had lots of help. First of all Vino Amore gave me the plot bunny for this one, thank you, my dear! Ravenpufflove, UrsulaHood, and Silver Lioness all spent some time beta'ing this story. Thank you lovelies!</b>
</p><p>  <b>LunaP999 created a <i>gorgeous</i> piece of artwork to go along with this. Find it on her Tumblr lunap999!</b></p><p>  <b>If you liked this (or hated it) let me know about it in a review! You can find me on Tumblr at crochetawayhpff or Facebook at Shan Crochetaway. Enjoy!</b></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>12 October 1977</em>
</p><p>Severus Snape glowered across the Great Hall at his old friend, Lily Evans. She laughed at something Potter said, no doubt ridiculous. A few years ago, she would have scoffed at him and ignored him.</p><p>Not anymore.</p><p>Now it seemed as if everything Potter did was funny. Every time Severus looked her way, she was laughing at something he said, or touching him, or leaning into his space. It was infuriating. Not because Severus wanted her, he did, but as a friend. She was <em>his</em> <em>friend</em>. . .or she had been. For years they had been friends,<em> best</em> friends. She’d been his only friend, but now she didn't want anything to do with him. Now she only spent time with Potter and the other Gryffindors. He ignored the way his chest pained at the thought of it. There was nothing to be done about their estrangement. He had tried all of last year and was resigned to living with it now; at least it was their last year at Hogwarts. After a few months, he wouldn't have to see Lily or Potter on a daily basis ever again, and that thought hurt almost as much as watching Lily and Potter flirt did.</p><p>He sighed, turning back to his own breakfast, pushing the porridge around the bowl but not actually eating any of it. He should eat, he didn't get nearly enough food over the summer holidays and had lost a full stone and a half. He'd barely started gaining that back when he began to notice how the new Head Boy and Head Girl were practically all over each other. He couldn't help but wonder what had changed. Had it been over the summer while he was dealing with his parent’s deaths and fending off the Muggle authorities?</p><p>A hollow feeling opened up in his chest at that thought, and his stomach felt like lead; he abruptly pushed his bowl away, unable to eat anymore.</p><p>"Alright, Snape?" Mulciber asked from across the table, giving him a sharp look after porridge spilled out the side of his bowl and onto the table.</p><p>"Fine," Severus replied. He flicked his wand, cleaning the porridge quickly and gave what he hoped was a reassuring nod. Ignoring Regulus Black's look from further down the table, he stood up. He didn't have to sit here and watch Lily Evans and James Potter canoodle. There were other things he should be doing. More important things. Like searching the Restricted Section now that he had finally gotten a pass from Slughorn. Severus knew that the Potions professor didn’t like him very much at all nonetheless Slughorn recognized his skill and was happy to use it as a means to his own ends. Slughorn was just about as Slytherin as they came, the moment Severus offered to take on half the brewing of the hospital wing's potions for the term in exchange for a permanent pass to the Restricted Section Slughorn had taken him up on it. It was a relief and he was a little angry with himself that he hadn't thought of it before this year.</p><p>He had always made potions in his spare time. Usually selling them to students on the side. He was cheaper than the apothecary down in Hogsmeade, more discreet than Madam Pomphrey, and produced better quality than about anywhere else. Now, he had just doubled his workload, but he also had access to a different class of potions, one that could finally get him noticed by the Dark Lord. He could have simply gone to Lucius Malfoy for help, however, Severus wanted to stand out to the Dark Lord on his own merits. It wasn't just potions he was skilled in, but the Dark Arts as well. His mother had plenty of those books in his house growing up, and he had always wondered why but hadn't bothered to ever ask. Mostly because his father didn't want to hear any talk of magic of any kind; a lesson Severus had learned very early on.</p><p>He slipped into the Restricted Section with barely a glance from their new timid librarian, Madam Pince. At least the Restricted Section was enough to distract him from whatever it was Lily and Potter were up to. Though, truly, all he wanted was <em>his</em> friend back. It was very lonely being a half-blood Slytherin.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>22 October 1977</em>
</p><p>Severus found himself spending almost every waking moment in the Hogwarts library this year. Which really wasn't too different from previous years, but the fact that he could hide away in the Restricted Section for hours at a time meant he was very rarely anywhere else. It had the added benefit of keeping him out of the way of Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew.</p><p>Mercifully, he had barely seen the Marauders this year. That is with the notable exception of recognizing their existence at meals and during classes and they had come to an unspoken consensus to leave the Great Hall and classrooms as attack free as possible. He was sure his luck wouldn't hold out indefinitely, and already he had caught Black glaring at him over breakfast the day before. Severus had only rolled his eyes, he had yet to speak to any of them yet this year; there was truly no reason for Black to be glaring other than the simple fact that he just didn't like Severus.</p><p>He felt settled in the Restricted Section though, and while the potions books were fascinating, and he had a few ideas for potions to showcase to the Dark Lord already. . . he found himself looking at other books, other disciplines. The book that had caught his eye on this particular day was written in Russian Cyrillic and Severus was pretty sure that the title translated to something like <em>Magic of the Heart. </em>Perhaps there was something in here that he could use to bring Lily back to him. With only a simple translation spell at his disposal translating Russian text into English was tough going. The spell worked better for Germanic and Roman languages, it wasn't great for others, but it was all that he had, all that he could find, really.</p><p>If only he could talk to Lily. Just talk to her. He knew he could make her understand, make her forgive him. Maybe they couldn't go back to being the friends that they were, but maybe it would be enough that she would at least acknowledge his presence. These days, she acted like she couldn't see him at all. Like she could just look through him entirely. It was as infuriating as it was heartbreaking.</p><p>About halfway through the book, he found what he was looking for: a spell to bring him to his heart's desire. He read the ritual over again. It needed to be performed at an auspicious time of year. Samhain was just days away. . . if he could gather all of the necessary components in time, he could be just days away from having Lily look at him again. Intoxicated by the thought he gripped tightly onto his quill and scribbled down what he needed to do in a hurry. It wasn't much. The biggest issue was that the rite needed to be performed in a fairy circle. He knew there was one in the Forbidden Forest, though he had never been to it himself. Gathering his books quickly, he rushed out of the library and directly into a trap set for him by Potter and his gang.</p><p><em>Bloody hell</em>, he thought upon seeing them lingering outside the door. He didn't have time for this. There were only nine days before Samhain and a lot to be accomplished in that time.</p><p>"Where have you been hiding, Snivellus?" Black sneered at him. He was leaning casually against a wall, though his wand was gripped tightly in his hand. His black hair, expertly tousled. The perfect image of a young pure-blood scion. Almost the exact opposite of what Severus was, a poor, orphaned half-blood. His fists clenched at the thought. He'd like to permanently wipe the smirk off Black's face one day.</p><p>Severus was instantly on edge and wishing he hadn't tucked his wand away. He had gotten lazy this year. Lazy and distracted with the Restricted Section and he was going to pay for it now. "What do you want?"</p><p>"Want? What could we <em>ever</em> want from you?" Potter asked with a laugh. Pettigrew chortled from behind him and Severus glared at the rat-faced boy. He hated all of them, but something about Pettigrew always rubbed him the wrong way. Severus could not put his finger on it but his hair rose at the back of his neck as he sensed the subtle differences in the manner that Pettigrew affected him, there was something off about the boy that he could not put his finger on. Black and Potter were brash and loud but Pettigrew was quiet, sneaky, and suspicious. He despised them all but for different reasons.</p><p>"Then let me pass," Severus said through clenched teeth as he hitched his bag higher on his shoulder. He would brush by them, but he was sure the moment his back was turned a hex would be aimed his way.</p><p>"It's been a boring year so far," Black said, pushing away from the wall and sauntering toward him. "Don't you think?"</p><p>"No," Severus snapped, wondering if he could reach for his wand without getting hexed first. Perhaps if he dove to the side and pulled it out at the same time he could manage it?</p><p>"'Course he doesn't," Potter laughed. "He's just happy we've left him alone. But that ends today."</p><p>Severus sighed resigned to the hexing he knew was coming his way. Lupin hadn't said anything yet, just leaned against the wall, not watching them.</p><p>"I know he's the Head Boy, Lupin, but you are still a Prefect, aren't you? Perhaps you should rein them in a bit," Severus suggested. Lupin's shoulders tensed, but he didn't look their way. Severus narrowed his eyes at him before dodging quickly to his left and pulling his wand.</p><p>He was almost quick enough. The moment his wand was in his hand he snapped his shield in place, but it wasn't quite fast enough to stop the stinging hex Potter sent his way. He hissed as his calf began to swell up. At least this week he had been making burn salve for the hospital wing, he had plenty to spare for his own injury.</p><p>Severus took off at a run, ignoring the burning sensation in his calf, and tossing a tripping ward behind him as he slid behind a tapestry that led to a secret corridor. The corridor would dump him out right in front of the Slytherin common room. If he could keep ahead of them, he could be safe from them, without any other hexes thrown. Normally, he would stand and fight, but he just had too much to do to be laid up in the hospital wing if things turned especially nasty.</p><p>He could hear them behind him: a cry as someone contacted the tripping ward, their feet slapping against the floor of the small corridor. Severus had cast a silencing charm on his feet the moment he had ducked out of sight and ran as fast as he could, hoping to keep ahead of them. Quicker than he remembered, the tapestry guarding the other end of the corridor appeared in front of him and he barreled into it and almost slammed into Regulus Black who was just entering the common room.</p><p>Regulus was one of the few Slytherins who didn't look down on him because of his blood status. Perhaps it was because he was talented in other areas, or perhapsRegulus had enough on his hands with his older brother to care about blood status.</p><p>"Alright?" Regulus asked. Severus gulped and panted clinging onto the wall as he nodded an affirmative answer and the common room door slid shut just as he spotted the tapestry flinging aside and a furious looking James Potter staring at him.</p><p>Severus couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his face.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>23 October 1977</em>
</p><p>He needed to find the fairy circle first. Location was everything when performing this kind of magic, and if the fairy circle in the Forbidden Forest wasn't going to work then he needed to know that now. While he still had enough time to hopefully research and find another.</p><p>Thus he found himself trooping out to the forest that nearly fully encircled Hogwarts. It was nasty weather, raining and windy, and already darkening, though sunset wasn't for another couple of hours. As the Forbidden Forest was out of bounds for all students, Severus was grateful to the weather for offering some protection from the eyes of onlookers. The restrictions never stopped students before, but with only a few more days before Samhain Severus didn't need to be wasting a single moment by serving detention.</p><p>It was bad enough that Potter and Black were now out for his blood. The enraged look on Potter's face when he realized that Severus had gotten away, still had Severus chuckling. Severus gave as good as he got, but he was outnumbered every time. And it wasn't often that he escaped a confrontation with them relatively unscathed. Even if he beat them, which did happen on occasion, there were too many of them for Severus to ever come away totally uninjured.</p><p>Following the crude map that a seventh year Ravenclaw had drawn for him, was easier than he expected. He found himself at the fairy circle within thirty minutes of leaving Hogwarts’ front doors. At least this had gone well, as nothing else had. He had discovered he didn't have quite enough candles for the rite, so he was either going to have to steal some from someone or dip into his precious savings and buy more. He was more inclined to steal. The elves replenished the candles in the Great Hall on Sunday evenings. He could always sneak in after they had put the new ones out and snag a few completely unnoticed.</p><p>As it turned out, candles weren't going to be his only issue. He hadn't come to school prepared to run a full rite with a circle and now there wasn't another Hogsmeade weekend before Samhain. He was going to need to beg a sack of salt from the house-elves in the kitchen as well. And probably purloin a few supplies from Slughorn's stores. Though, the last at least would be the easiest to come by. Slughorn never guarded his stores all that well, and with Severus brewing for the hospital wing, it would be easy for him to take what was needed.</p><p>At least, with the fairy circle close by, it shouldn't be too difficult to move everything he needed for the ritual there. He had taken the book from the library, going over the ritual, again and again, to make sure that he was translating it correctly and had all the right components. Ritual magic wasn't something he was very familiar with, so he wanted to make sure that he did it right the first time. He had no idea what the consequences of doing it wrong would be and he was reluctant to find out.</p><p>It only took him a few more days to procure the rest of the items necessary for the rite. Now, he just had to wait. . . and avoid Potter and his ilk.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>31 October 1977</em>
</p><p>Samhain dawned bright and cold, though clouds scudded on the horizon.</p><p>Classes were always a bit light on feast days. Severus was mildly disappointed that he would be missing the annual Halloween Feast, but the ritual was too important to put off. The next time he could conceivably perform it wouldn't be until the winter solstice, and that was nearly two months away yet. No. Despite missing the feast, Severus was set on this course of action. He had everything he needed; now it was just waiting until classes were over and full-dark reigned over the grounds.</p><p>Luckily for Severus, Samhain fell on the night of the new moon making it even easier for him to slip out of the castle unnoticed and veiled by the moonless night. The lunar phase also boded well for the rite. Auspiciousness wasn't something Severus had given much thought to until recent weeks, but now it seemed almost everything was going his way. He had found the rite just days before Samhain, Samhain was a new moon, <em>and</em> the rite didn't call for anything too unusual or difficult to access. For the first time in a long time, Severus felt almost lucky.</p><p>His luck seemed to continue when he successfully avoided Potter and Black after Herbology and made it back to the common room unscathed. Now he just had a few hours to wait until the feast began and he could use the distraction of the festivities to sneak off. It wasn't likely that he would be missed at the feast, though Regulus had asked if he planned to attend. He had made a non-committal noise and changed the subject.</p><p>Severus left the common room with the rest of his house but peeled off from the group to go to the toilet. He hid in a stall until he was sure the feast had already begun and any stragglers would be in the Great Hall. By the time he made it out to the grounds it was full dark. His cloak wasn’t quite warm enough for the chill in the air, but the brisk walk helped keep him warm. The night was clear and cold; the stars shining down didn't create much light for him to navigate by, especially once he was under the canopy of the forest. He moved as quickly and quietly as he could. Tripping over roots the moment he entered the Forbidden Forest had him wishing he could cast a light, but he didn't want to draw any attention to himself. Worse than someone in the castle spotting him, would be if he ran across any of the denizens of the forest.</p><p>At last, the fairy circle came into sight and Severus let out a sigh of relief. First thing he had to do was protect the fairy circle and himself by setting some wards. He made quick work of the wards, glad to have them finally snap in place so he could cast a small fire to give him the light he needed to work by, and then it was on to casting his circle in which to work. As he poured the salt, Severus was careful not to get any on the mushrooms and he was just as careful not to step on any of them. Once the circle was cast, he felt relatively safe from anybody or anything intruding on him. Then it was time to light the candles.</p><p>Finally, he sat on the ground in the middle of the fairy circle, the candles floating above the mushrooms. He held a pile of dried sage in one hand and eye of newt in the other, for clarity. His heart was thudding loudly in his chest as he mentally went over the words one last time before speaking them out loud.</p><p>
  <em>"Prinyat' moye predlozheniye,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Boginya dushi.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Voz'mi moye predlozheniye,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bog zhelaniy serdets.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Prinesi mne mir,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bozhestvo yedinstva.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Primi menya k zhelaniyu moyego istinnogo serdtsa,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Boginya lyubvi i druzhby."</em>
</p><p>With the last word, he crushed the sage and blew it from his hand. He tossed the eye of newt behind his left shoulder and closed his eyes.</p><p>Behind his closed eyelids, he could see the candles flash brightly: once, twice, then they went completely dark. A sharp wind blew through the circle, then nothing. He opened his eyes and only saw darkness around him. Placing a hand on the ground next to where he sat he felt cool stone. Not the grass of the forest floor.</p><p>"Hello?" he said. He only heard his words echo around him before they faded away.</p><p>Sharp, hot panic coursed through him. What had he done? He stood quickly, turning in a tight circle, but there was only darkness around him. The panic is climbing and threatening to overwhelm him when suddenly bright, white light flashed all around him, blinding him.</p><p>When he opened his eyes, it was clear that he was no longer in the void nor was he in the fairy circle, but he was very clearly in a Hogwarts dormitory. There were four beds, all dressed in Gryffindor colors. His heart started to beat fast. It had worked. The ritual actually worked, it brought him to his heart's desire. He turned, hearing a noise behind him, expecting to see Lily standing there.</p><p>But it wasn’t Lily. His eyes raked, almost frantically over the short girl in front of him. She was in a Hogwarts uniform, though it looked slightly different than the one he was used to. Her tie was in Gryffindor colors, but her face, her hair. . .She looked nothing like Lily. She had bushy, curly brown hair that rested at her shoulders. Lily's hair fell half-way down her back. And Lily was taller than this girl. The girl's dark brown eyes held confusion and her brow was furrowed.</p><p>"You're not Lily," he muttered to himself. His fists clenched at his sides almost involuntarily as a wave of anger filled him up. What had gone wrong? He had done the ritual correctly, he knew he had. It even brought him to the Gryffindor dormitory, but this girl wasn't Lily. She wasn't even someone he recognized.</p><p>"Lily who?" the girl asked, tilting her head to the side as she studied him. He felt his ears redden when he thought of the shabby cloak he was wearing and his spine straightened under her scrutiny.</p><p>"Lily Evans, do you know her?" he asked. Maybe she was a new student? Or a fifth year? Someone he didn't recognize, at any rate. He ignored the fact that there was something off about her uniform.</p><p>The girls' eyes widened at the mention of Lily's last name. She knew Lily, but something in her face told Severus that he had done something very, very wrong.</p><p>"Who are you?" she asked him. He thought about not telling her, about just leaving, but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.</p><p>"Severus Snape."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. To the Headmistress's Office</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>31 October 1998</em>
</p><p>“We need to go to the Headmistresses office,” the girl said. “Right away.”</p><p>She hadn’t even introduced herself to him before she grabbed his arm, and tugged him behind her as she left the dormitory. He didn’t recognize her at all, though she was the only girl in the room, he did see that before she dragged him out and to the small landing outside of it.</p><p>Who was this girl and why was she in Lily’s room? He wasn’t so oblivious that he didn’t know all of the Gryffindor girls in his year.</p><p>Flicking her wand at the stairs, which had wobbled for a moment, she led him down them and straight into the Gryffindor common room. He barely had a chance to take a breath and the grip she had on his forearm was tight. She was moving fast, and despite his greater height advantage he was having a bit of trouble keeping up.</p><p>His heart leapt up into his throat when he got into the common room proper, and he winced instinctively. Surely, Potter or Black would be there to hex him. He might have even deserved it for showing up in a girls’ dormitory. It took several steps for him to realize that no hex was coming. Looking around the cozy room, he didn’t see any of the Marauders and he breathed a small sigh of relief. At least one thing was going his way. Though, as he was being dragged through the room he realized that he didn’t recognize any of the students in there. He turned to look over his shoulder, trying to pick out someone—<em>anyone</em>— he recognized, and though they all stared at him, none of them looked even the least bit familiar.</p><p>Severus shook his head. That couldn’t be right. Before he could take another look, the witch with the death grip on his arm shoved him through the portrait hole. He didn’t exit gracefully and tripped over the lip of the hole, falling to his knees</p><p>“Merlin, sorry!” she said, giving him a hand to help him up. There was sincerity in her apology, but he didn’t take kindly to carelessness. “I forget that people aren’t used to the portrait hole,” she said as Severus narrowed his eyes at her and pushed himself off the floor without her help.</p><p>“Perhaps be less pushy in the future,” he snapped, feeling pleased when she flinched.</p><p>“I said I was sorry,” she muttered, grabbing his arm again and leading him through the corridors toward the staircase. He tried tugging his arm from her, but she held it firmly in her grip as if she was used to holding on to people like that. He took a moment to study her profile. She had a smattering of freckles across her dark cheeks and nose; her jaw was clenched tightly. He thought if the castle were silent he might even be able to hear her grinding her teeth together. He wasn’t sure what look was on her face, something that wavered between scared and concerned. He couldn’t blame her for that, he had just shown up in her dormitory. It was then that he realized she wasn’t even wearing a robe and her shirt was half-unbuttoned.</p><p><em>Salazar</em>, had he interrupted her just as she was changing?</p><p>That possibility caused a lot of feelings in Severus that he did not want to examine; his body flushed hot, then cold, and he was infinitely grateful she was clutching his forearm and not his hands, for now they were sweaty.</p><p>“I do know where the Headmaster’s office is located,” Severus said, as he finally yanked his hand away to wipe it on his trousers. Her gaze flicked over him for a moment, before she grabbed his forearm once more. They took the stairs at a slower pace, and he began wondering what he could do to get her to stop touching him. Not that her touch was unpleasant, just… he wasn’t used to people touching him. Ever. And it was a little disconcerting that this small Gryffindor girl did it with such ease.</p><p>As they waited for a staircase, Severus couldn’t stop himself from looking around the castle. It looked different, strange. There were parts that clearly appeared to be newer than others as if they were recently repaired. He didn’t remember any parts of the castle looking like that. The castle he was used to, looked centuries old in every single part of it, but there were some sections here that looked positively brand new. The next staircase they descended looked as if it had been freshly poured concrete just a few months ago. What could cause the castle to look so different? And why only parts of it? There were some things he recognized as looking basically the same, but others looked wholly new or were gone entirely. For instance, Severus could have sworn that there were an even dozen suits of armor on the sixth floor, but by his quick count, there were only nine.</p><p>A sort of dawning horror was drawing over him. The ritual had brought him to some<em>when</em> else. Not just brought him to his heart’s desire… though, Lily was nowhere in sight. If it didn’t bring him to Lily, then who the hell did it bring him to? Surely not… he shook his head, not allowing the train of thought to continue.</p><p>“I see you’re in Slytherin robes, but I don’t recognize you,” she said, interrupting his thoughts and looking at him out of the corner of her eye. “What year are you in?”</p><p>“Seventh,” Severus said tightly, his gaze still fixed to the castle around them. “And you?”</p><p>“Seventh... or eighth, depending on how you look at it,” she replied. That answer didn’t make any sense to Severus. There was no eighth year. Maybe she was studying to become an apprentice? But then how could she also be a seventh year? Nothing was making sense. Severus hated it when things didn’t make sense.</p><p>They made it down to the fifth floor when Severus saw something that made him stop in his tracks. There was an entire section of the wall, almost six meters of it, completely rebuilt. He found himself asking without meaning to, “What happened?” His voice was rather breathless and he coughed, trying to regain some sense of normalcy. Though, nothing about this felt all that normal. He was feeling quite panicky and trying to hide it as best he could.</p><p>Something with his ritual had gone very, very wrong.</p><p>The girl tensed and stopped. She stared at the wall, specifically the inscription at the center it that Severus couldn’t quite make out. He stepped closer reading it.</p><p>
  <em>Fred Gideon Weasley</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Best Weasley Twin</em>
</p><p>
  <em>April 1, 1978 - May 2, 1998</em>
</p><p>His breath caught in his throat at the dates. That… that wasn’t possible. It was 1977. How was—</p><p>“That’s where Fred died,” she said quietly. Her words gave him something to focus on that wasn’t the confusing date on the castle wall in front of him. Then she turned to him, looking up at him shrewdly. “<em>When</em> are you from?”</p><p>“<em>When</em>?” he asked. The feeling that he wasn’t in 1977 anymore grew, but it still hadn’t really sunk into his brain that he had somehow traveled through time. Time travel shouldn’t be possible without the aid of something like a Time-Turner, which Severus had never even seen before. “What do you mean? When?”</p><p>“What year is it?” she asked instead. Her intelligent brown eyes were assessing his reaction. He turned from her curious gaze; suddenly he didn’t want to be here at all. His chest felt tight and his palms were sweating even more than before.</p><p>What was happening to him? What had he done?</p><p>“1977,” he said quietly, trying to push the panic back, but it kept rising inside him.</p><p>She pursed her lips and shook her head, her curls bounced, catching the light. “It’s 1998.” A ridiculous thought flicked through his mind, she looked pretty. Prettier than he had first given her credit for. Then her words hit his brain and he looked at her in confusion for a long moment.</p><p>It was like his knees just decided to stop holding him and he found himself slumped on the floor, his back against that repaired bit of wall and his head in his hands.</p><p>Twenty-one years. He had somehow traveled twenty-one years into the future with that ill-conceived ritual. What on earth had he been <em>thinking</em>? Suddenly, it seemed hard to catch his breath. His chest became impossibly tight, and he was gasping, but no oxygen was going into his lungs; it was like drowning except he was on dry land. Oh, <em>Merlin</em>, oh <em>Circe</em>, he was going to pass out. Black spots threatened at the outsides of his vision, growing larger in time with his labored breaths.</p><p>“Hey, it’s alright,” the girl said kindly, kneeling down on the floor next to him. “I get these too, put your head between your legs and take deep breaths.” She placed her hand on his shoulder, and again he marveled at how easily she touched him. Nobody touched him like that. Not in years. Not since he and Lily… not since… he couldn’t think of it. His vision narrowed to a point.</p><p>“Can’t... breath,” Severus gasped, and suddenly her hand was on his scalp, touching his hair, shoving his head forward, and holding it there.</p><p>“Breath with me,” she said, her voice a command now, “In, one, two, three, four, five. Out, one, two, three, four, five. That’s it, keep going.” She continued to slowly count breaths in and out and Severus tried to match her pace. After what felt like ages, but was probably only minutes, the tightness in Severus’s chest eased, and his breath came easier.</p><hr/><p>“How long have you been having panic attacks?” Hermione asked the strange boy who had just shown up in her dormitory.</p><p><em>Severus</em>, she reminded herself, <em>that was what he had said his name was</em>.</p><p>A lot of things had surprised her about the wizarding world over the years, but someone literally showing up in her dormitory was a new one. He looked to be about her age, with black hair that hung to his shoulders, and a sharp, aquiline nose that had probably been broken a time or two and not healed correctly. He was impossibly tall compared to her, taller even than Ron.</p><p>“I’ve never had one before,” he said. His head wasn’t buried between his knees anymore, now it leant against the wall: Fred’s wall, as she thought of it. His eyes were squeezed shut. She studied his profile: the tightness of his mouth, the huge Adam’s apple that bulged out of his neck, no doubt, partially the cause for his deep voice.</p><p>“Bit of a shock, finding out the year, sorry about that,” she said, settling into her spot next to him, and bumping her shoulder against his. “Means you probably don’t know anything about the war.”</p><p>“War?” His voice was hoarse. Hermione reached out a hand to place it on one of his forearms. He stared at her hand uncomprehendingly, but despite the awkwardness, she left it there. He was clearly completely freaked out by appearing in the future. She was trying to be comforting but wasn’t quite sure she was doing a good job of it.</p><p>“With Voldemort and his Death Eaters. It ended in May, and well, it’s a bit raw for a lot of us still at Hogwarts. Though with you being from 1977, I would guess you have at least heard of Voldemort.”</p><p>The boy nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah, I’ve heard of him,” he said, his voice was still raw.</p><p>When his dark eyes opened, Hermione offered him a smile. He didn’t return it, though the look on his face wasn’t completely unfriendly. His eyes were so dark they were almost black in the dim corridor lighting. It was when they dipped below her face that she realized her shirt was still only half-buttoned.</p><p>Her face flamed when his eyes focused on her chest, and she coughed, half turning away from him to quickly do up the appropriate amount of buttons.</p><p><em>Godric</em>, she had almost waltzed into the headmistress’s office with her shirt open like that. How horrifically embarrassing would that have been? Almost as embarrassing as having this strange boy seeing her like that.</p><p>After a few moments of deep breathing she turned back to find his head leaning against the wall and his eyes closed again. He was taking deep breaths in through his nose, as if only a few moments away from panicking again. When she placed her hand on his forearm again his eyes popped open, and he straightened to look at her. She noticed he was very good at keeping his eyes on her face.</p><p>“Feeling any better?” she asked.</p><p>Severus shook his head. “Not really, no.” Hermione squeezed his arm. There really wasn’t anything she could do to make him feel better. It wasn’t as if they had any Time-Turners left to get him back to the past.</p><p>“How did you end up here, anyway?” she asked, hoping to relax him some.</p><p>His eyes turned hard and cold. “I’d rather not say,” he said with a very clipped voice.</p><p>She nodded. That she could understand, after having kept so many secrets for Harry over the years… Weird to think that this boy knew Harry’s mum somehow. Though, if he really did come from 1977, then he would have been the same age as her. Though what his mum, a Gryffindor, was doing being friends with a Slytherin, she had no idea. Back in the summer before fifth year, Sirius had told them that the division and discord between houses had always been there, maybe even worse in the 70s than it had been in the 90s.</p><p>“Well come on then, the Headmistress is going to want to see you.” Hermione got to her feet quickly and offered the boy a hand up. She wondered if he would take it, he seemed a little standoffish, though she wasn’t sure if that was part of his personality or the fact that he had traveled over twenty years into the future.</p><p>“<em>Headmistress</em>?” he asked as he took her hand and stood. He didn’t drop her hand once he was standing and Hermione smiled as she turned away, leading him toward the stairs.</p><p>“I don’t want to say too much,” Hermione said, moving slower than before, hoping that her rushing hadn’t helped lead to his panic attack. “I don’t want to compromise anything in case they are able to send you back to your proper time.”</p><p>“Right, back,” he said faintly, and not for the first time, Hermione wondered just how he had ended up in her dormitory. He looked rather pale though… she would get answers enough from Headmistress McGonagall. She just hoped she was going to be allowed to stay to hear all of the answers. She hoped, given her war experience, that she wasn’t going to be treated like a child. But with the wizarding world, one never knew. The adults seemed to treat people her age in a different way each time they saw them.</p><p>She couldn’t wait to be out of Hogwarts and living on her own.</p><hr/><p>Severus only knew it was after eleven at night by the ringing of the bells just as they reached the gargoyle that guarded the headmaster’s—headmistress’s, he reminded himself—office.</p><p>“Lagavulin,” the girl, who still hadn’t introduced herself, said to the gargoyle. It hopped aside and she pulled him up the stairs by his hand.</p><p>When had she started holding his hand? He couldn’t remember but didn’t bother to tug it away from her. It felt kind of… nice. He grimaced at the thought, but he knew he was touch starved. He hated that he knew that fact, but he wasn’t about to pull away from the only person who had been willing to touch him in years.</p><p>“What’s a Lagavulin?” he asked as they ascended the spiral stairs behind the gargoyle.</p><p>“Scotch, apparently,” the girl replied. “Professor McGonagall <em>really</em> likes her scotch.”</p><p>“Professor McGonagall is the headmistress?” he asked, a sinking feeling in his chest. Never once—in seven years—had she ever taken his side against the Marauders. She was almost as bad as Dumbledore in that respect. Though, she at least had been properly horrified at Black’s stunt in fifth year with Lupin. Not that it did much good. Dumbledore still let Black off with a few detentions, while scolding Severus to keep his nose to himself. How was he to have known that Dumbledore knew about Lupin being a werewolf? What kind of madman let a werewolf go to school?</p><p>When they reached the top of the stairs, the girl knocked. “Headmistress McGonagall?” she called out.</p><p>“Hey, what’s your na—” Severus asked just before he was interrupted and the door swung open. McGonagall was gazing at them with a confused look on her face.</p><p>“Miss Granger? What on earth is going on?” She looked quickly back and forth between the girl, Granger, and him. “Who is that?”</p><p>“That’s why we’re here to see you, Headmistress,” Granger said. “Can we come in? It’s kind of a long story.”</p><p>“Well, alright, but you know you aren’t supposed to have visitors at Hogwarts,” the headmistress said, disapproval heavy in her voice. The girl huffed and dragged Severus up the last few stairs.</p><p>“Sit,” McGonagall said, indicating the two chairs in front of the massive desk. The office was night and day different from Dumbledore’s. It was filled to the brim with books, with a very large collection of decanters along one wall. McGonagall herself looked impossibly older, much older than just the twenty years that had gone by. Granger had mentioned a war, perhaps that had something to do with it. Right above McGonagall’s desk, in a place of prominence, was a portrait of Dumbledore.<em> Salazar</em>! That meant Dumbledore was dead. He was asleep in the portrait, snoring lightly. A sick feeling slid into Severus’s stomach, just as he was starting to feel better about it all. How was he going to get back if Dumbledore was dead? Granger caught where he was looking and smiled sadly.</p><p>“A year and a half ago,” she said.</p><p>“The war?” Severus asked. She nodded.</p><p>“How do you not know about the war?” McGonagall asked, narrowing her eyes at Severus in a look he was intimately familiar with. He found himself scowling back, just as he would have in 1977. “Don’t give me that look, young man!”</p><p>Granger placed her hand on his forearm again, giving him a warning look. “Headmistress McGonagall, this is Severus Snape, he just appeared in my dormitory this evening.”</p><p>“What do you mean ‘appeared?’” McGonagall looked sharply between the two of them. “I know he couldn’t have gone up the stairs in Gryffindor tower. I renewed the charm myself over the summer.”</p><p>“He didn’t go up the stairs,” Granger said, arguing on his behalf which was a completely bewildering experience for Severus. Nobody had ever argued on his behalf before. “He <em>appeared</em>. Like with a Portkey or Apparition, however, I don’t think that’s how he got there.”</p><p>“I should say not! Both of those modes of transport are banned at Hogwarts.” McGonagall leaned forward over her desk, peering closer at him. “Snape, you say? That name does sound familiar, though I can’t place it.”</p><p>Severus cleared his throat. “I was a seventh year in 1977. I seem to have traveled twenty-one years into the future.”</p><p>“Good Godric!” Professor McGonagall leaned back in her chair, a hand on her chest, her eyes wide as she stared at him, completely shell-shocked. She took a deep breath and picked up her wand to summon a decanter and glass from the far wall. After pouring herself two fingers of Scotch and taking a sip, she spoke again, “Twenty-one years? 1977, you say? Well, you would have been contemporaries with our Potions Master then. Perhaps he will have a better memory of you.” She flicked out her wand and Severus couldn’t stop himself from flinching violently back in his chair. McGonagall gave him a disapproving look, though Granger squeezed his arm where she still had her hand laid. Another flick and tabby cat Patronus trotted out of McGonagall’s wand and onto her desk. She meowed and circled as McGonagall instructed her to find Professor Black.</p><p>The feeling in Severus’s stomach worsened. What kind of future hellscape was this that <em>Sirius Black</em> of all people was the Potions professor? His chest started feeling tight again, and he glanced at Granger to see her looking positively frightened. Oh, Merlin, this was bad. This was very, very bad. Severus’s breathing sped up and he felt like he was going to pass out.</p><p>“Hey, it’s alright,” Granger said quietly. She scooted her chair closer to his and placed her other arm on his back. “Deep breaths remember? Let’s try not to hyperventilate again.”</p><p>“What is going on?” McGonagall asked. Granger and Severus both ignored her; so he could try and get his breathing under control, but he had no idea why Granger didn’t bother saying anything to the Headmistress. He was just pleased she kept helping him. She counted her breaths, holding it in for five between the inhale and exhale, slowly rubbing her small hand on his back. If he weren’t freaking out completely it would probably feel rather nice.</p><p>“Professor Black is all bark and no bite,” Granger said. “You’ll like him, I promise. Most everyone does after about fifth year. Before then, it’s usually a bit touch and go,” she laughed quietly.</p><p>“Not helping,” Severus gritted out. “I know exactly who Black is and he and I weren’t very chummy.”</p><p>“Oh,” Granger said. He found himself wishing he knew her first name. “Well, I’ll do what I can then,” she offered quietly. “The headmistress and I don’t quite see eye-to-eye on most things, so it’s no skin off my back.”</p><p>“Why?” he finally had his breathing under control, though he still felt rather lightheaded. He turned to look up at her. “Why would you help me?”</p><p>She shrugged. “It’s the right thing to do, isn’t it? You’ve got yourself into quite a pickle, and have no friends here.” She offered him a small smile. “I’ll be your friend if you like?”</p><p>Severus didn’t get a chance to answer her, because just then the door to the Headmistress’s office burst open, and his heart started beating out of his chest again. He dropped his head, using his hair to curtain his face, and tried going through one of Granger’s breathing exercises. He would never live down passing out in front of adult Sirius Black. Even if Granger promised to protect him. After all, what could she do against her professor?</p><p>“Ah, Professor Black, thank you for coming under such short notice,” Headmistress McGonagall said. “We’ve come upon a bit of a situation.”</p><p>“I can see that,” Black replied. Severus’s entire body clenched at the sound of that pompous pretentious voice. It was just as he remembered it, though perhaps a bit deeper with age.</p><p>Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Granger glancing between him and Black. Severus hunched his shoulders, even more, curling up as tightly as he could in his chair while still remaining upright. Granger’s hand remained on his back, but Severus wished she wasn’t touching him. He wished more than anything that he wasn’t here. The last thing he wanted to see was the face of Sirius Black, his eternal tormentor.</p><p>“Look at me,” Black said softly, a tone Severus had never heard from his nemesis. Willing his face into a cool mask, Severus took a deep breath. He finally pulled his head up enough to see Black leaning his hip against McGonagall’s desk with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked old; <em>Circe</em>, when had everyone gotten so old? His grey eyes were the same though, and the piercing frown between them was very reminiscent of his bully. His whole body was tensed, waiting for a hex, but the longer it took to arrive, the more wound up Severus became. He couldn’t relax. He could never relax, not in front of Black. Though… Severus peered closer, there was something about Black’s expression that wasn’t quite what he was expecting.</p><p>“It’s him,” Black said. “It’s Snape.”</p><p>The tension was almost too much, Severus was on the verge of fleeing when Black went on.</p><p>“Merlin, we looked for <em>you</em>. For weeks we looked for you, wondering where you had gone!” Professor Black looked properly worried now and Severus leaned as far back in his chair as he could to try and create some space between them.</p><p>“It’s really 1998?” Severus asked quietly. Nothing about this made sense: not the time travel, not the fact that Sirius Black would have looked for him after he had disappeared, nothing.</p><p>“Professor Black, did you really know him?” Granger asked, looking between the two men. “He just showed up in my dormitory.”</p><p><em>“In</em> your dormitory?” Black asked, giving Severus a sharp look. “The Gryffindor girls seventh year dormitory?”</p><p>Granger nodded. “Yes.”</p><p>“Just what were you doing <em>there</em>, Severus?” Black’s slightly quirked lips had a flush rising quickly on Severus’s face. .</p><p>Severus reddened. “Don’t you mean <em>Snivellus</em>, Black?” he spat.</p><p>Granger gasped; McGonagall stood to scold him; Black looked sad.</p><p>“You will address the Professors of this school with dignity and respect!” McGonagall said, slapping her hand down on the desk.</p><p>“It’s alright, Minerva. He thinks I’m my brother.”</p><p>McGonagall looked confused for a long moment. “Sirius? Why would he think…” she trailed off and peered back at Severus. “Oh.”</p><p>“Yes, <em>oh</em>,” Severus spat. “I’m the one you let Sirius Black and James Potter bully all over this damned school. So I’ll be damned if I give any respect to the imbecile who bullied me for six years.”</p><p>“Severus, I’m Regulus,” Black said, placing a hand on Severus’s shoulder. “Sirius died two years ago.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Who Is That Boy?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>31 October 1998</em>
</p><p>Hermione watched Professor Black and the boy, Severus, closely. Severus seemed terrified of Professor Black, and it was strange to think that somehow the professor and this scared, shy, boy in front of her knew each other. Professor Black wasn’t that old, she knew, but he looked and seemed as old as Professor McGonagall. A quick look to her former head of house and Hermione winced at the bewildered look on her face. Clearly, there was history here that she wasn’t aware of, and as much as she was dying of curiosity to know it all, she was trying really hard to curb those impulses since the war. ‘Insufferable know-it-all’ had been quite a favorite insult from Professor Black these last few years, and Hermione was sick of hearing that particular insult, so she kept her mouth shut and her hand on Severus’s shoulder, feeling him reel back in shock at the words coming out of Professor Black’s mouth.</p><p>Severus looked up at the professor, peering close, “R-Regulus?” his brow was furrowed and Hermione squeezed his shoulder. He whipped his head around to look at her.</p><p>“He’s telling the truth,” she said. “That’s Regulus. Sirius did die in the war a couple of years ago.” She bit her lip, willing her eyes to not tear up. She hadn’t been that close to Sirius, but Professor Black was… And Harry, of course, poor Harry who seemed to lose every adult he had ever become close to.</p><p>Severus glared at her and shook off her hand before turning back to Regulus with confusion written on his face. “If Sirius is dead, who else?”</p><p>Professor Black’s jaw tightened and he sighed, settling further on top of the headmistress’s desk, seemingly unaware of her glare at his back. “A lot of people died, Severus. Too damned many. It’s… we need to figure out if we’re going to be able to get you back to the past or not. How exactly did you get here?”</p><p>“I did a ritual,” Severus mumbled. “It obviously didn’t work.”</p><p>“So no Time-Turner was involved?” Regulus asked.</p><p>“Not that there are any Time-Turners able to send him back,” Headmistress McGonagall said sternly, casting her glare over Hermione. Hermione rolled her eyes. That stunt at the Ministry had been over two years ago, when Sirius died. She sighed. She hated thinking about the war and everyone they had lost, but it seemed inevitable that conversations like this were going to have to be had.</p><p>“If it wasn’t a Time-Turner, then it’s likely there won’t be a way to send him back,” Hermione added. “Time-Turners can go back and forth, but rituals usually are one way trips, at least from my research.”</p><p>Professor Black offered her a small, half-smile. “You’re right, Miss Granger. I’m assuming this wasn’t a ritual to bring you into the future?” he asked Severus.</p><p>Severus shook his head, keeping his mouth shut, his jaw looking mulish.</p><p>“Then you are more than likely stuck here,” Professor McGonagall said. “We’ll have to get you sorted. You were in your seventh year?”</p><p>“I want to know who else is dead,” Severus replied, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest. He wasn’t quite so hunched over as he had been, but Hermione could see that he was still upset. She hadn’t known him long, and while he was fairly adept at hiding his emotions, there was something about his eyes that she could see was deeply concerned.</p><p>“Who in particular?” Professor Black asked coolly.</p><p>“You aren’t really going to humour this, are you?” Professor McGonagall interrupted. “Let’s get him sorted and then his head of house can deal with it.”</p><p>“<em>I’m</em> his head of house,” Regulus replied. “He’s going to be a Slytherin, no matter what that stupid hat says. So yes, I’ll be humouring this. Besides, you may forget, Headmistress, but Severus and I were friends once.”</p><p>“Lily,” Severus said. “Please tell me Lily isn’t dead.”</p><p>Hermione could see that he knew the truth from the look on Professor Black’s face. Headmistress McGonagall looked as severe as ever, but even her eyes got sad at the mention of Lily.</p><p>“No, no, no, no!” Severus shouted, standing suddenly. Hermione felt embarrassed for him when tears escaped his eyes as he shouted at Professor Black.</p><p>“Voldemort killed both Lily and James Potter on Halloween in 1981,” Professor Black said in a monotone.</p><p>“L-Lily P-Potter?” Severus choked before collapsing suddenly to his knees.</p><p>Hermione was right there with him, putting her hand on his back, but Severus shrugged her off and snarled, “Get away from me.” His eyes bulged and spittle flew from his mouth, he looked entirely psychotic.</p><p>She fell back onto her bum, shocked at the anger and rage in his face; her eyes widened as she took in his display of deep grief and emotion. How did he know Harry’s mum? It was a mystery she definitely wanted to know the answer to, but at that moment, the headmistress got up from her seat and rounded her desk.</p><p>“Get up, Miss Granger,” she said quietly. Hermione scrambled to her feet, still looking in shock at the boy heaped on the floor. The headmistress swept from her office, leading Hermione out to the corridor outside of the gargoyle. She shivered in the cooler air of the corridor and wrapped her arms around herself.</p><hr/><p>“Who is that boy?” Hermione asked Headmistress McGonagall after a few minutes of collecting herself.</p><p>She had never seen the headmistress look as weary as she did right then. “He’s…” she shook her head, seemingly overcome. “He’s a poor boy who is out of his time.”</p><p>“I know that,” Hermione snapped. “I meant, who is he in context of Professor Black, of Sirius; why does he know Harry’s mum? Is what he said about Sirius and Harry’s dad true? Was Harry’s dad a bully?”</p><p>Sighing, McGonagall grabbed her upper arm and led her to a small ante-chamber just to the right of the gargoyle. Hermione had never seen this room before, it looked like a waiting room, likely for the Headmistress’s office. There was a small tea set off to the side beneath a window and there were two comfortable looking sofas paired with a couple of armchairs. They looked like nicer versions of the ones in the Gryffindor common room.</p><p>“I don’t remember as much as I should,” Headmistress McGonagall said after she had poured tea for them both. Hermione took a tentative seat in an armchair near the sofa where the headmistress had settled and accepted her cup of tea. “But, yes, I do believe that Severus is correct. James and Sirius were… incorrigible in some ways. Both able to get away with more than we probably should have let them.”</p><p>“We who?” Hermione asked, sipping the tea. It tasted a bit stale and she grimaced, setting the cup down. McGonagall drank hers though as if she didn’t mind the taste.</p><p>“Albus and I, the rest of the professors, though<em><strong>—</strong></em>” she sighed heavily, suddenly looking very old, “<em><strong>—</strong></em>Albus and I probably share most of the blame. I was head of Gryffindor then and Albus was Headmaster. We both had the ability to curb both of their behaviors more than we did.”</p><p>“What about Professor Lupin? And Peter Pettigrew? They were part of the Marauders too,” Hermione said.</p><p>“Remus and Peter were absolutely part of it,” McGonagall said, “but James and Sirius were the ring-leaders of that group. Both rich, pure-bloods, though only James was secure in his place in the world. Arrogant as Regulus always said. He wasn’t wrong. James Potter was very arrogant, maybe more so than Draco Malfoy.”</p><p>Here Hermione’s eyes widened. She didn’t think she’d ever met someone more arrogant than Malfoy. Harry’s dad must have been a huge prat. “They sound like gits,” Hermione replied, startling Headmistress McGonagall into a small chuckle.</p><p>“Och, they probably were gits, to Severus more than anyone else. As for the answer to your question, Remus as a werewolf likely felt lucky to just be included. And Peter was not nearly so powerful or popular as the other three, likely felt the same. Though given his… history, who knows?”</p><p>“Why didn’t Headmaster Dumbledore stop them if they were so awful to Severus?” Hermione asked. The rose-colored glasses from her childhood had been removed back during fifth year when Sirius died. Hermione knew that adults weren’t infallible, but even still, it seemed horrifically unfair that teachers, people who had the power to stop it, allowed bullying of any kind to happen.</p><p>“I don’t know,” McGonagall said, seeming small. “I’m sure Albus had his reasons, and well… in those days I was much less likely to question Albus’s practices.”</p><p>Hermione’s lips tightened at that response it was… unsatisfactory, to say the least.</p><p>“He said he did a ritual and ended up here; what kind of ritual would cause that?” Hermione asked, changing the subject. The wheels were already turning in her mind about how to make Severus’s seventh year better than his first six had been. She wouldn’t let anyone bully him this year, or they’d be answering to her. She couldn’t do anything about the past, but she was <em>damned sure</em> she would be doing something about the future.</p><p>“I’m not well-versed in ritual magic.” McGonagall shook her head. “Hopefully Professor Black will be able to ascertain what ritual Severus performed. Though you were entirely correct, there isn’t a ritual that will specifically send him back in time. He’s likely stuck here.”</p><p>“But why the Gryffindor seventh year girls dormitory? It doesn’t make sense?” Hermione shook her head. She felt like the answer was right there on the tip of her tongue, but it was escaping her.</p><p>McGonagall just shook her head. “We’ll have to wait for Severus to tell us why.”</p><hr/><p>Dead. Lily was dead. His heart’s desire was dead.</p><p>What kind of cruel world was this?</p><p>He had performed a ritual to bring him to his heart’s desire and instead of bringing him to Lily it brought him to a future in which she didn’t exist. Not only that, but she had also married <em>James Potter.</em> The thought alone had bile rising in his throat. He gagged, glad his stomach was empty and there wasn’t anything for him to retch up.</p><p>“Here,” Black handed him a glass of water. Severus took a greedy gulp and shifted so he was sitting on his bum, his back against the headmistress’s desk. He felt more than saw Black settling next to him.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Black said. “Merlin, you have no idea how sorry I am. There’s…” he trailed off.</p><p>“Did you do it?” Severus asked. His head was leaning against the desk front and he turned it to look at his former-friend. Salazar, he looked so old.</p><p>In response, Regulus lifted the sleeve of his left robe. There on his forearm was the mark that an hour ago, Severus had been dying to get. It looked as though it was fading, like an old tattoo. And if twenty years had truly passed; then it <em>was</em> an old tattoo. He ran a finger over the skull and Black shivered but didn’t make a comment.</p><p>“Did it hurt?” Severus asked, looking forward again.</p><p>“Like a bitch,” Black said. “Worst pain of my life, up until then at least.”</p><p>Severus grunted. He wasn’t scared of pain. “So he’s dead. The war that Granger spoke of was it?”</p><p>“Yes, he’s dead,” Black replied. “It’s a long story. But if you’re up to it, I’ll tell it to you.”</p><p>“Maybe just the highlights,” Severus replied. He was tired. Really, very tired. And his entire chest ached with the knowledge that Lily was gone.</p><p>So Black told him. He explained how Voldemort had targeted Lily and James and their son, <em>Their son.</em> But something happened and the son survived. Voldemort was gone though. Gone for fourteen long and seemingly peaceful years.</p><p>“What did you do?” Severus asked.</p><p>Black laughed. “I taught Potions. I’d already turned to the Order of the Phoenix after Voldemort used Kreacher to hide a Horcrux. I couldn’t stand behind him after that. It was… horrifying.”</p><p>“What’s a Horcrux?” Severus asked with a furrowed brow.</p><p>“I forget how much there is that you don’t know,” Black sighed. “And I’m getting too old to be sitting on the cold floor for so long.” He stood and offered Severus a hand up, which Severus took with a muttered thanks.</p><p>“Regulus, please call me my name. It’s too weird to hear Black out of your mouth. Makes me think Sirius is still here.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Severus said. “I know he was your brother, but…”</p><p>“He was your tormentor. It’s okay.” Regulus clapped him on the shoulder and led him over to the small sitting area near the fireplace. “Let’s have some tea, shall we?”</p><p>Severus nodded and Regulus called for a house-elf who brought in a tea tray full of sandwiches. It had been hours since Severus ate at this point and he was starving. He piled his plate full and ate while Regulus talked.</p><p>“The second war started back in 1994, though most say it started when my brother was killed in 1995.”</p><p>“What happened to him?” Severus asked, swallowing another sandwich.</p><p>Regulus scowled. “A Horcrux is made when you kill someone and then take that rip in your soul and shove it into another object. Turns out, when you do that enough times, your soul rips with increasing ease. So when Voldemort went to kill the Potters, his soul ripped easily and part of it got lodged into the only living thing in the room.”</p><p>“The baby?” Severus asked incredulously. “The baby was a Horcrux?”</p><p>Regulus nodded, looking vaguely ill. “Dumbledore was the only one to suspect that to be the case, but Harry had always had some sort of weird connection to Voldemort that was unexplained. During his OWL exams, Voldemort sent him a vision of my brother being tortured in the Department of Mysteries. “otter’s brat, being as arrogant as Potter was, ran off to London with his friends to try and free him.”</p><p>“Sweet Salazar, <em>why</em>?” Severus asked, horrified. “Didn’t anyone think it might be a trap?”</p><p>“Granger did,” Regulus said with a slight laugh. “She was the brains of that group, but Harry didn’t listen to her too often. Anyway. The kids got to the Ministry, and managed to make their way into the Hall of Prophecies that’s where the boy saw Voldemort and my brother. Turns out there was a prophecy made that was about Harry Potter and Voldemort. Voldemort wanted that prophecy, but there wasn’t a way <em>he</em> could get into the Ministry and get it, so he sent Potter. Then sent Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange and a few others to collect it from Potter. It was not pretty. Not even a little bit.” Regulus grimaced here. “Bellatrix killed Sirius during the battle, but… it’s a long story. Suffice to say that Sirius was <em>persona non grata</em> throughout wizarding Britain at the time.”</p><p>“How many Horcruxes did he make?” Severus still couldn’t quite bring himself to call the Dark Lord by name. Perhaps that was something that would come easier with time, but right now, it felt too much like sacrilege. He had been gearing up to join the Dark Lord as soon as he finished his seventh year. To find out that he was dead, and his best friend had fought on the side of Dumbledore… it was a lot to take in.</p><p>“Seven,” Regulus said grimly. “He had five of them made prior to going to the Potter's house that night on Halloween.”</p><p>“So many?” Severus asked. It was almost inconceivable. The murder alone made his stomach roil, but then to have to sever a part of his soul. The whole idea was so repugnant that Severus felt ill. He wished he hadn’t eaten so many sandwiches. “How do you know all of this?”</p><p>Regulus sighed and glared at the sleeping portrait of Dumbledore. In a slightly louder voice, he said, “Dumbledore was a meddling old coot, but he pieced a lot of it together. He raised Harry Potter like a lamb for slaughter; then sent him off after Voldemort’s Horcruxes with nothing more than his friends and hope. He should consider himself lucky that he’s dead and I can’t kill him all over again.”</p><p>Dumbledore snorted but didn’t awaken. Severus’s eyes were wide as his gaze darted between his former friend and the headmaster. “Again?”</p><p>“Oh, yes, did I forget to mention that Dumbledore also manipulated me into killing him when he foolishly put on one of Voldemort’s Horcruxes?” Regulus laughed humorlessly. “It was cursed, of course, nothing we did was going to save him. So he used his death as a catalyst for the war, ensuring that Harry wouldn’t trust me. It was all quite neatly done.”</p><p>“Sounds like a bloody disaster,” Severus mumbled.</p><p>Regulus laughed a true laugh then and finally turned back toward him. “It was. It really, really was. We’re lucky to have come out on top with as few losses as we did. And even then, some would tell you there were too many losses.</p><p>“So who else?” Severus asked. “Who else is dead? Potter, Black, and Lily. Dumbledore. Anyone else?” He steeled himself for the news.</p><p>“The first war was brutal. It didn’t truly pick up until after your year had graduated, but it seems like most everyone in your year died either then or in the second war. Lupin and Pettigrew both in the second war. Mulciber and MacNair also in the second war. Rosier was a casualty of the first war though. Am I missing anyone?”</p><p>“My parents?” Severus asked, unwilling to look at his friend. While he knew they wouldn’t have been involved in the war, it didn’t seem like either of them would have lived another twenty years. Not with the way they had been going.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Severus,” Regulus said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “They both died the summer after you disappeared. It was hard on your mum.”</p><p>Severus nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat. He had told himself that he was prepared for this, but the reality of it all hit him hard. He felt tired. He felt drained. He felt wrung out... and he had no idea what was going to happen now.</p><p>“If I can’t go back,” he said slowly, trying to keep his voice steady, “what do I do now?” His voice croaked painfully, and he ducked his head, hiding behind his hair, and scrubbing at his leaking eyes with one hand.</p><p>“You live,” Regulus said. “You live the life that you didn’t get to have the first time around. You live your young adulthood without the threat of a war hanging over your head. You live like we didn’t get to. You finish your seventh year and go on to become a much more brilliant potions master than I could ever be.” He said it so emphatically that for a moment Severus could see it; then the overwhelming doubt and uncertainty that he had lived with most of his life came sweeping back over him, and he shook his head.</p><p>Severus’s nose stung with unshed tears and he sighed. Lily was gone. His <em>best friend</em>. The only thing good in his world was dead and gone. Did her son still go to Hogwarts? Severus didn’t even know that. How was he supposed to ask that question without it being too intrusive?</p><p>Twenty-one years. He had missed twenty-one years of life, of cultural references, of societal progression. There were so many things he didn’t know about this world. Not just the magical world, but what about the Muggle one? Twenty-one years must seem like an eternity in the Muggle world; it always had moved so much faster than the magical world did.</p><p>Severus choked around the lump in his throat. “I don’t know how.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Dark Eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>1 November 1998</em>
</p><p>Regulus sat with Severus as he processed everything he had been told. It was a lot, almost too much, but Regulus promised to help as much as he could. He assured Severus that he could still be a Slytherin and he wasn’t going to let McGonagall resort him. After several long moments, when Severus felt that he had composed himself as much as he possibly could, Regulus lifted his wand and sent a Patronus.</p><p>“Can you teach me that?” Severus asked as the pearly white Thestral disappeared.</p><p>“Sure, it’s not something everyone can do. They say that marked Death Eaters can’t produce one, but…” Regulus trailed off and let a small chuckle loose. “There are lots of terrible, not true rumors going around about the marked Death Eaters.”</p><p>“How did you avoid Azkaban?” Severus asked.</p><p>Regulus chuckled again. “Dumbledore, of course. The man was manipulative to the point of being a complete narcissist, but he did provide for his own. When it benefited him at least. I’m lucky that it benefited him that I stayed out of Azkaban, even if he was dead. My brother wasn’t so lucky.”</p><p>Severus gave him a confused look, but Regulus shook his head. “That’s a story for another time. Here comes the headmistress and Miss Granger.”</p><p>Sure enough, the stairs leading to the office began grinding upward, and a moment later both witches appeared in the doorway. McGonagall still looked as stern as ever, and Granger gave Severus a small smile. Severus couldn’t quite return it, but he did manage a nod.</p><p>Was it possible that Granger was his heart’s desire? That didn’t seem likely since he had never met her prior to today, but why else would the ritual have brought him so far into the future?</p><p>Or was living without the threat of the Dark Lord his heart’s desire? That also didn’t quite seem right. Prior to tonight, he had been excited to join the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters. Hearing some of what Regulus had experienced through the two wars had cooled his desire quite a bit. While he might be a little relieved that there wasn’t a Dark Lord in this strange future; he didn’t think that was his heart’s desire.</p><p>So why had he gone forward in time?</p><p>“We’ll need to inform the Ministry,” Headmistress McGonagall was saying when Severus started paying attention to the conversation going on around him. “I’m not sure we’ve ever had a case like this happen before, but surely the Department of Mysteries has a protocol for occurrences such as this. I’ll take care of that.”</p><p>“Tell them to consult me if they have any questions,” Regulus said imperiously. As the last of the Blacks perhaps he had more sway than most would have with the Ministry.</p><p>“I still think we ought to have Mr Snape sorted again,” McGonagall said and Severus grimaced. He absolutely did not want that bloody hat in his head when he was already dealing with so much and was so confused. He started to shake his head, but Regulus stepped in again.</p><p>“Absolutely not. He’s a Slytherin. We have the room to house him so we will. We can have Malfoy look after him, and I will take care of any expenses he incurs.” Severus flushed at the reminder that he was essentially a penniless orphan. Even if his parents had died with any money, surely it would be long gone by now. Granger was looking at him curiously, so he ducked his head, allowing his hair to swing forward and hide most of his face from view.</p><p>“Malfoy?” Granger asked. The only Malfoy Severus knew was Lucius, so this other one must be his son.</p><p>“He needs something to occupy his time since he can’t play Quidditch,” Regulus replied. “It’ll be good for him.”</p><p>Severus’s eyes darted between Granger and Regulus, trying to figure out the undercurrent that was at play. Granger looked unimpressed with Regulus’s choice and Severus wondered what Malfoy did to get himself banned from playing Quidditch.</p><p>“If there’s nothing else, Headmistress? I believe it’s been quite a long day for everyone,” Regulus glanced pointedly at the clock behind the headmistress’s desk that was now pointing perilously close to one in the morning.</p><p>“Of course, yes, we should all be getting to bed. Luckily for all of us, tomorrow is Sunday and we can still attempt to have some semblance of a normal night’s sleep,” McGonagall said dismissively.</p><p>Regulus bid Granger and the Headmistress both goodnight before heading toward the staircase. “Come along, Severus,” he said over his shoulder.</p><p>Before hurrying after his former friend, Severus gave one last look at Granger, his emotions were all over the place, but his heart felt a little lighter when she offered him a small smile.</p><p>“This is weird,” Severus said as Regulus led the way to the Slytherin common room.</p><p>“You’re telling me,” Regulus said with a slight chuckle. “My long lost friend just showed up and is now twenty years my junior. I suspect you want to know a bit about Malfoy?”</p><p>Severus nodded. “Lucius’s son, I assume?”</p><p>“Correct. Also, the youngest marked Death Eater in history. Draco even had me beat,” he chuckled ruefully.</p><p>Severus winced. “Is that why he can’t play Quidditch?”</p><p>“Attending Hogwarts this year is part of his sentencing,” Regulus said as they exited the Entrance Hall and began their descent into the dungeons. “Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger actually should have both left Hogwarts last year. But the war interrupted everything. Granger didn’t even get to attend, as a Muggle-born she was banned from doing so. Draco’s Death Eater duties kept him busy enough, and his overwhelming guilt for his part in Dumbledore's death meant he failed most of his classes. As my cousin, he was placed under my care at Hogwarts while his parents serve out their sentences. Lucius’s in Azkaban and Narcissa’s at home. There’s….” Regulus trailed off and shook his head. “Far too much to explain tonight. I’ll find some good newspaper accounts on the aftermath of the war that will explain everything better than I can.”</p><p>Severus swallowed hard. There was so much he missed. So much he was never going to be able to understand about this world. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “You don’t have to help me, but I appreciate that you are.”</p><p>“Frankly, I’m so damned relieved to see you alive, that I’m more than happy to help,” Regulus said, placing a warm, solid hand on Severus’s shoulder. They stood in front of the blank wall that guarded the Slytherin common room. “The password is ‘adder.’” The wall slid aside and both of them strode into the empty common room.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>10 November 1998</em>
</p><p>Severus didn’t find classes in 1998 any more difficult than they had been in the 70s, thankfully. It was easy for him to slide right back into his routine from just a few days prior. While 1998 was different from the 70s, there were some obvious benefits to moving so far forward in time. For starters, the Marauders were no longer around to make his life miserable and there didn’t seem to be a modern equivalent. He was increasingly grateful to have a reprieve from looking over his shoulder in anticipation of an oncoming attack. It also meant that he had much more time to observe his fellow students and try and sort out the pecking order.</p><p>Though, with the recent war, it seemed there was no true hierarchy amongst the students. Or at least not one that Severus could figure out. It seemed that prior to the war Malfoy <em>had</em> been on top of the pecking order, but now, he kept his head down and avoided as many of the students as he possibly could, except the one student that Severus also found himself watching. Granger... Hermione. The only other eighth year besides Malfoy.</p><p>Severus caught Hermione looking over at him almost as often as he found his gaze wandering to her. He supposed he must be as interesting to her as she was to him.</p><p>Why had the ritual brought him forward in time? Why had it brought him to her dormitory? Was it the seventh year Gryffindor girls dormitory it was bringing him to? Or was it to Granger specifically?</p><p>There were too many unanswered questions and Severus found himself too bogged down in schoolwork to go looking for any of the answers. No matter how desperately he wanted answers and yet… there was part of him that was afraid to find them.</p><p>What would it mean if Lily wasn’t his heart's desire? Just thinking about her still brought a stinging to the back of his eyes and a lump to his throat. How could Lily be dead? How could so many people he had gone to school with be dead? It seemed inconceivable, and yet, here he was in the future, living in a world where the Dark Lord didn’t triumph.</p><p>Yet another thing he was having trouble reconciling. In 1977 he and Regulus had been itching to join the Death Eaters back in 1977 and now Regulus talked long and often about his work for the Order of the Phoenix in the fights against the Dark Lord. Severus had yet to drum up the courage to ask him why he had switched sides. He didn’t think Regulus was necessarily wrong in his desertion of the Dark Lord. After all, it now seemed clear, that the Dark Lord was a little unhinged. A week after learning about the Horcruxes, Severus still felt vaguely ill by the severity of it all. Especially after the most recent revelations. Who on earth would ever think to make a Horcrux, let alone <em>seven</em>?</p><p>He could see why Regulus would have changed sides, but it begged the question: would Severus have made the same choice if fate hadn’t seen fit to fling him into the future? He didn’t know, and that was what was bothering him.</p><p>He wasn’t stupid. As a half-blood, it had always irked him that the only way to seemingly claw back any power in the wizarding world was to follow someone obsessed with the purity of blood, but Severus had been willing to do it. If it meant he was going to have power, going to have powerful friends, he had been willing to do <em>anything</em>.</p><p>But then he thought about Granger. Brilliant Hermione who knew the answer in every class, but didn’t flaunt it. Who went out of her way to help anyone who needed it. Who had even asked after him the first few days until he had given her a thorough brushing off. She was a Muggle-born—<em>like Lily was</em>—and under the Dark Lord, she would have been targeted. Merlin, she <em>was</em> targeted. Regulus had informed him of just that, she hadn’t been allowed to attend her final year of Hogwarts due to her blood status.</p><p>So, he could admit to himself that he didn’t like the Dark Lord’s blood purity stance, but did that mean he would have ended up switching sides like Regulus had? Would he have become a member of the Order? The fact that he wasn’t sure, made him uneasy. That unease was what led him to brushing off Granger’s friendly overtures, despite the fact that he was hard pressed to keep his eyes off of her when they were in the same room.</p><p>After continuously brushing her off for the first week, Severus had thought he had scared her away for good, but then… then she had taken to sitting at his table in the library. It didn’t matter which table he sat at. Inevitably, she found him and joined him. This should have infuriated him. And perhaps, had it been anyone else it would have, but she was quiet, studious, and never spoke to him. Hermione just sat with him and worked on her homework.</p><p>It didn’t take long for Malfoy to figure out what was happening and begin joining them. Malfoy’s adoration of Granger was painfully obvious to Severus, and yet Draco was unwilling to say anything to her about it to Hermione.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>24 November 1998</em>
</p><p>It had taken most of the month for Severus’s heart to stop aching as terribly as it had after he found out about Lily’s death. He still found himself absolutely tearful if it was late at night and he was alone and thinking about her. How could his best friend be dead? It was so horrific, that he had trouble even processing it.</p><p>Watching Malfoy watch Granger only made matters worse. It was bad enough that Severus was confused over his connection with Hermione, but watching Malfoy watch her was… almost physically painful. He couldn’t figure out if Hermione was completely oblivious to the glances or if she was ignoring them because she didn’t know how to respond. He supposed it was possible that she was oblivious. She certainly wasn’t exchanging looks with Malfoy. Maybe Severus only noticed it because he watched Hermione just as much as Malfoy did?</p><p>That was a disturbing thought. He’d lost his best friend to James Potter in the end, and now he found himself part of this strange trio. Hermione had never been <em>his</em>, but something had brought him forward in time and he had ended up in her dormitory. Not just in her dormitory, but standing right in front of her. If it was Granger who had brought him forward, he would have appeared wherever she was, right? Instead of concentrating on his potions homework, Severus chewed on the end of his quill as he pondered the mystery of his time traveling.</p><p>“What sources are you using for the essay on asphodel?” Malfoy asked him as he slid into the seat next to Severus. His eyes were on his bag, pulling out his books, though Severus could see that he kept carefully glancing at Granger who was sitting across from Severus.</p><p>“These three,” Severus said, pushing the small stack over to his house mate. “I’m finished with them if you need to use them.”</p><p>“Thanks, mate,” Malfoy said, tossing him a solemn nod. “Did you finish your asphodel essay already, Granger?”</p><p>“Last week,” she replied absentmindedly. Severus shook his head. He almost couldn’t believe she was a Gryffindor. With her academic habits, she seemed more like a Ravenclaw.</p><p>That was the most conversation the three of them had ever had. Severus went back to his potions essay, proofreading it and moving a few paragraphs around. When he looked up several moments later, he found Hermione’s dark eyes fixed on him. The moment he caught her gaze he darted his eyes away just as she offered him a small smile, but he missed her frown when he looked back at his essay. Taking out a fresh sheet of parchment, he began rewriting it.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>28 November 1998</em>
</p><p>Hermione sat up fast, chest heaving, her breaths coming in fast pants, sweat dripping from her brow as she reassured herself that she was still in Gryffindor tower. Still in her bed, safe and sound. Not out in a strange forest watching a strange boy perform a strange ritual. This certainly wasn’t her first time experiencing this dream, though this felt more real than the last. For the first time since the dreams began, Hermione was able to recognize that the boy sitting in the middle of the fairy circle was Severus. She had her suspicions since he arrived a month ago when the dreams began, but this time, she was sure it was him.</p><p>This one felt so <em>real</em>. She felt like she was right there, watching him prepare the ritual. Closing her eyes, she went over what she dreamed; she could smell the loam of the earth, feel the cool breeze on her skin. The moon filtered through the trees above them as Severus stepped inside the fairy circle. He was methodical as he went about preparing for the ritual. Then he sat down and began. Chanting in a language she didn’t recognize, something Eastern European, but she wasn’t sure which one. It was quick, as far as rituals went. He spoke the words, blew the sage, and then tossed the eye of newt over his shoulder. Then he disappeared.</p><p>That was the point Hermione always woke up. He disappeared and she assumed that was when he appeared in her dormitory.</p><p>Opening her eyes she checked the time to see that it was almost dawn. She sighed. These dreams were killing her sleep. She wished she could figure out what it meant that she kept dreaming of Severus. She wasn’t even sure if the ritual she was dreaming of was real or if it was something her subconscious had created to justify his appearance. They certainly felt real, even as they left her disoriented and fuzzy-headed.</p><p>At least it was Saturday and a Hogsmeade weekend at that. She had searched for everything she could find on rituals in the Hogwarts library but hadn’t found a book containing rituals in an Eastern European language. Maybe Tomes and Scrolls in Hogsmeade would have something.</p><p>She shook her head. As much as she wanted to figure out what was going on with Severus, she was equally sick of mysteries. Hermione would love nothing more than to have one normal year at school: one year where there were no mysteries to figure out. No strange dreams. Nothing but schoolwork.</p><p>Besides, why did <em>she</em> have to be the one to figure out the mystery? Just because he appeared in her dormitory?</p><p>Hermione twisted her lips and tried to put Severus out of her mind. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, she was caught up on her schoolwork, and it wasn’t snowing. So she was determined to enjoy the day with Ginny and not worry about school work, or strange dreams, or mysterious boys who just appeared in dormitories. She could do it.</p><p>She<em> would </em>do it.</p><hr/><p>After breakfast Hermione and Ginny made their way down to the Entrance Hall together, bound for Hogsmeade. With neither Harry nor Ron at Hogwarts, Ginny really clung to Hermione and truth be told Hermione didn’t mind. The war had left Ginny a bit fragile on her own. The disastrous year with the Carrows was nightmare-inducing all on its own, but coupled with Fred’s death, Ginny was far less like herself this year. All of the Weasleys were a little less prone to laughter this year.</p><p>Hermione had been glad to come back to Hogwarts without the boys. After living with them in a tent for the better part of a year, she was ready to have some of her own space again. Even sharing a dormitory with Ginny was quite a bit different than living in a tent with two boys. At least they were better fed at Hogwarts. Hermione was sure that a lot of her frustrations and irritability with Harry and Ron last year had a lot to do with not having enough to eat. It was far easier to live with Ginny in the comfort that was Hogwarts than it had been with the boys on the run.</p><p>“You look brooding,” Ginny said quietly as they exited the castle and ventured down the path toward the small village. Students streamed around them as they strolled slowly, their arms linked together. It was a gorgeous day for late November, warmer than it had been recently, and the sun was out and shining, almost no breeze. Probably one of the last truly beautiful days of the year.</p><p>“Just thinking about how different this year is to the last,” Hermione said just as quietly. “It’s strange, and maybe not quite good, but…” she sighed aloud, “ I'm not sure of the word.” She shook her head, trying to put into words all of the emotions she was feeling.</p><p>“Restful?” Ginny suggested. “This year feels restful. Like after you’ve had a good long cry. You’re still upset, your heart and chest still hurt, but there’s something cleansing about it.”</p><p>Hermione thought for a moment. “Yeah, that’s exactly what it’s like.” She squeezed Ginny’s arm. “Restful. Let’s keep it that way, yeah?”</p><p>“As long as no more strange boys show up in our dormitory,” Ginny replied, sending Hermione a small smirk. “I see the way you watch him.”</p><p>Hermione sighed. “It’s not <em>my</em> fault. I don’t <em>want</em> any mysteries to solve this year.”</p><p>“And yet…” Ginny trailed off.</p><p>“Mind if we stop in Tomes and Scrolls?” Hermione asked. Ginny laughed, shaking her head.</p><p>“Let’s start at the far end of the street, shall we?” Ginny suggested as they entered the village proper. Hermione nodded. She preferred to start at the far end too and work her way back toward the castle. Tomes and Scrolls happened to be one of the first shops when entering Hogsmeade from Hogwarts, so it meant they definitely wouldn’t miss it coming back.</p><p>They spent the day, going in and out of various shops, looking for Christmas presents for their friends and family. At lunchtime, they headed to the Three Broomsticks for some stew and a couple of butterbeers. A few of the other seventh year’s were also in the pub and they spent a laughter-filled hour with them. It felt good to be out of the castle. As much as Hogwarts felt like home, it was also a place where a lot of terrible things had happened.</p><p>By the time they had reached Tomes and Scrolls and Quality Quidditch Supplies, Hermione had found something for almost everyone on her list. She was feeling like she had accomplished a lot.</p><p>“You’ve got thirty minutes, Granger,” Ginny said with a small smile as she headed into Quality Quidditch Supplies. “Don’t make me drag you out of there.”</p><p>Hermione offered her a salute and laughed as she pulled open the door of the small bookstore. She waved to the proprietor and headed toward the back where she knew the esoteric magic books were kept. It was a small section, but also not a shelf that Hermione was very well-versed in. She planned to look at every book on it. Hopefully, it would yield something, but if not, she could always head to Flourish and Blotts over Christmas holidays.</p><p>Dimly, she heard the shop door tinkled as she looked through her third book. It was on rituals, but none of them were in a Slavic language. She put the book back on the shelf and was going to grab the next when the sound of a boot scraping the floor caught her attention. Looking up, she found Severus standing at the end of the aisle, staring at her. When their eyes met, his widened and he let loose a choked gasp. Then he turned on his heel and fled.</p><p>Hermione shoved the book back onto the shelf and made a snap decision, hurrying after him. She had tried to get him used to her presence by sitting with him in the library, hoping that he would open up to her, but he didn’t. And every time their eyes met, he looked away. She was sick of him ignoring her so thoroughly, and she wanted answers. <em>He</em> was the one to show up in <em>her</em> dormitory. He had to know <em>something</em>.</p><p>“Severus, wait up!” she shouted after him as he hurried out of the shop.</p><p>The moment he got to the street outside, he lifted his shoulders to his ears and shoved his hands in his pockets, hurrying back toward the castle. She caught up with him just on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. Hermione grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop and when he didn’t turn to face her, she moved so she was standing between him and Hogwarts.</p><p>“What is the deal?” she asked, trying to get him to meet her eye, but he wouldn’t. He looked at their feet instead.</p><p>He opened his mouth to say something, but then shook his head and closed it. He tried again, and again nothing came out.</p><p>Hermione pulled her hand off of his arm and crossed her arms over her chest as she waited for him to speak. After a long moment he mumbled, “You’re not what I expected. I must have miscalculated something.”</p><p>“With your ritual?” Hermione asked. “What ritual was it again?”</p><p>Severus shook his head, refusing to explain. “It doesn’t concern you,” he said, coldly, finally dragging his gaze up to hers.</p><p>“Actually, it does,” Hermione snapped, still tired from the night’s interrupted sleep. “Whatever you did affected me too.”</p><p>Severus stared at her in shock, confusion swirling in his dark eyes. He shook his head like he didn’t believe what she was saying. Then he brushed by her, hitting her shoulder hard and by the time Hermione got herself turned around, he was sprinting off toward the castle. She watched him go, half infuriated with herself for confronting him and half confused by his reaction.</p><p>She already knew that the ritual had gone wrong, but it seemed like maybe Severus was also struggling to figure out how and why it went wrong. Perhaps he too, felt this strange connection between them.</p><p>She rubbed her aching chest with the palm of her hand and turned to go back to Hogsmeade.</p><hr/><p>Ginny was standing outside of Tomes and Scrolls by the time Hermione made it back to Hogsmeade proper.</p><p>“There you are,” she said, sounding half-exasperated and half-worried. “You weren’t in the bookstore, I wasn’t sure where you went.”</p><p>“Sorry,” Hermione said. “I ran into Severus, and well…” she trailed off, shaking her head, “it doesn’t matter. I’d actually like a bit more time at Tomes and Scrolls, if that’s okay? I didn’t get as far as I’d like.”</p><p>Ginny raised an eyebrow. “It’s fine. I’m tired though, I’m going to head back up.”</p><p>“Alright.” Hermione gave her a little wave and headed back into the bookstore, more determined than ever to figure out the ritual Severus had performed.</p><p>It was a few hours later before she completed looking through all of the books on esoteric magics that Tomes and Scrolls had. She hadn’t found a single one with any sort of Slavic in it whatsoever. Sighing, she rubbed the back of her neck and headed out of the store for the second time that day.</p><p>“Didn’t find what you were looking for, dearie?” the proprietor asked.</p><p>Hermione shook her head. “Not unless you have any books on ritual magic with spells in a Slavic language.”</p><p>“I’m afraid not,” she said, shaking her head. “I can order something, if you have a title and author.”</p><p>She smiled at the older woman. “If I find one, I’ll do that,” she assured her. After wishing her a goodnight, she left the bookstore to see that it was dusk. If she didn’t hurry, she was going to miss dinner entirely.</p><p>“Alright, Granger?” a posh voice said behind her. She whirled around to find Malfoy holding several shopping bags and looking at her carefully. He always looked at her carefully these days, and she wasn’t sure what that meant.</p><p>“Yeah,” Hermione said, offering him a smile. “Heading back to the castle?”</p><p>Malfoy nodded and fell into step beside her. “Did you get all your holiday shopping complete?” He indicated the bags she was holding.</p><p>“I did,” she said. “It feels good getting it done so far ahead of time. Did you?”</p><p>He nodded. “My list isn’t large, just my parents really. Makes it easy, I suppose.”</p><p>“No friends to buy for?” Hermione asked, thinking about Pansy Parkinson.</p><p>Draco laughed bitterly and shook his head. “Not many friends these days, Granger. People generally don’t want to associate with Death Eaters.”</p><p>“Former Death Eaters,” Hermione replied back, bumping his shoulder with her own. “I spoke at your trial, remember? You were truly remorseful.”</p><p>“I know,” Malfoy said quietly, face going serious. “Thank you. I know I thanked you then, but I was still in a bit of shell-shock. I’m not sure I would be a free man had you not spoken up for me.”</p><p>Hermione shrugged. “It was the right thing to do. You were a kid put in terrible circumstances as much as the rest of us were.”</p><p>Malfoy nodded. “This is a bloody depressing topic,” he said, giving a little laugh. “Are you looking forward to the upcoming holidays?”</p><p>Hermione smiled and allowed him to change the subject. They each spoke of their Christmas plans the rest of the way back to the castle. Once they were in the Entrance Hall, Hermione was about to bid him farewell, when he spoke up.</p><p>“I’ll walk you up to the tower,” he said, offering her a tentative smile that showed a dimple she hadn’t realized he had.</p><p>“Alright,” she agreed, charmed by his old fashioned manners. They climbed the stairs in a fairly companionable silence.</p><p>“Thank you,” she said to him once they were standing in front of the Fat Lady’s portrait.</p><p>“It was my pleasure,” he said, so sincere that Hermione easily believed him. “Would you like to study together sometime?” he asked.</p><p>Despite the specter of Severus’s dark eyes dancing in her brain, Hermione found herself agreeing to studying with Malfoy with something like genuine pleasure. “Though I do usually sit at Severus’s table.”</p><p>“But he never joins yours,” Malfoy pointed out. She huffed a small laugh, the corner of her mouth pulling up. He was right about that. <em>She</em> had made all the overtures toward Severus, not the other way around.</p><p>“It’s a date,” Malfoy said, giving her a small smirk after she conceded the point and agreed. “Have a good night, Granger,” he said warmly.</p><p>Hermione found herself smiling absently as she entered the common room to stow her purchases before dinner.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Severus Searches the Library</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>28 November 1998</em>
</p><p>Severus sprinted away from Granger.</p><p>He didn’t want to hear what she was saying. He didn’t want to acknowledge whatever it was that was between them; because if he did then he might have to accept that he did the ritual correctly. If he accepted that, then he’d have to accept that Lily <em>wasn’t</em> his heart's desire and that… that was a thought he wasn’t sure he was ready to accept. He needed to find that book. That damned book that had led to all of this.</p><p>He was panting by the time he made it to the library. Barely giving a nod to Madam Pince—she was so old looking! Everyone looked so <em>old</em> to him—he hurried toward the ritual section where he’d found the book originally. It was small, smaller than it had been in his time, he was almost positive. But he knew he had to find it. The book had to be here, there was no reason for it to not be here.</p><p>Over the last month, he hadn’t even bothered searching for the book, but after the confrontation with Granger it was urgent. He had to find it. That ritual had not only done something to him, but it had done something to Granger too. He didn’t want to believe it, but she had seemed sincerely and truthfully worried as she snapped at him.</p><p>He hurried toward where he knew he had found it twenty years ago, sliding to his knees as he searched the bookshelf at the bottom. He <em>knew</em> in his bones, in his very marrow that this was where he had found <em>Magic of the Heart</em>. But now it wasn’t there. It was gone. He searched every shelf in the section and then did it all over again, finally coming to a rest on the cold library floor, his back against the shelves, and his head in his hands.</p><p>How could it be gone? What would have happened to it? He should have asked Granger what she meant earlier. But if he did, did that mean he was acknowledging that she was right? That something had gone wrong? Why would a spell designed to bring him to his heart’s desire bring him to a random witch he had never met before? It didn’t make any sense and Severus’s head hurt with the frustration of trying to make sense of it all.</p><p>It wasn’t just this strange connection with Granger either. It was Lily. Sweet, beautiful Lily who was his heart’s desire, he knew she was, and yet here he was, stuck twenty years in the future and she was dead. Dead and buried and had married Potter. The idea alone brought bile to the back of his throat. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and he felt hot and itchy all over at the idea of Potter and Lily, <em>his</em> Lily, having a child. It was too much, it was all too much.</p><p>Severus lurched to his feet and ran out of the library to the nearest lavatory. Throwing open the door, he skidded to a stop on his knees just before the closest toilet and retched up everything in his stomach. Everything was wrong, nothing was right, and his very soul hurt with the knowledge that whatever he had done, he would <em>never</em> get to see Lily again. She was gone, never to return.</p><p>Now he was stuck.</p><p>He leaned his head against the side of the cubicle feeling absolutely miserable. When he closed his eyes, he didn’t see Lily’s green eyes, red hair, and lithe form. Instead, he saw dark, curly hair, honey-brown eyes, and more curves than he could count.</p><p>He <em>should</em> be seeing Lily, he <em>wanted</em> to be seeing Lily, to be thinking about Lily and while part of him was mourning her loss, he still couldn’t get Hermione out of his head. She haunted him: when he was alone, when he was asleep, hell, she even haunted him by joining him in the library almost every single evening. He couldn’t get away from her.</p><p>Severus sighed heavily, a wave of sadness and grief falling over him as thoughts of Lily’s death plagued him once more. He needed to find that bloody book, but it was clearly not in the library anymore. Where else could it be?</p><p>“Oh, I’m a bloody fool,” he groaned to himself and stood up. The Restricted Section was where he had found that damned book. How quickly he had forgotten. He just needed a pass to it and knew just the professor to help him. He hurried to a sink and rinsed his mouth out with water from the tap, splashing some onto his face as well. A glance in the mirror told him he at least didn’t have vomit on his chin, but he looked like hell: sallow, pale, sunken eyes. He scowled and turned away.</p><p>He didn’t care what he looked like.</p><p>The library was on the fourth floor and it felt like it took bloody ages for him to get down to the dungeons and Regulus’s office. It was still strange to see Regulus at the front of the potions laboratory instead of Professor Slughorn. Though, Regulus was a far better teacher than Slughorn had ever been. Severus knocked on the office door, realizing it was something he had never done before. He’d only once sought out Professor Slughorn and part of him felt strange to be seeking out Regulus’s now, but he also knew that Regulus was his only hope. Even if he didn’t have the book, perhaps he could help him track it down. Severus didn’t have any means to do so on his own behalf. He shoved that thought down as it chafed badly. He didn’t have the small potions side-hustle he had back in the 70s, which meant he had no pocket money.</p><p>“Come in,” Regulus called.</p><p>Severus entered the office and shut the door behind him.</p><p>“Severus,” Regulus’s voice was warm as he invited him to sit. “What can I do for you?”</p><p>“I need help finding the book I used for the ritual,” Severus said. “I think something went wrong.”</p><p>Regulus chuckled, “I thought we had concluded that when you showed up twenty years into the future.”</p><p>Severus winced and dropped his gaze to the floor. “Right. Still. I need the book. Do you think you could write me a pass to the Restricted Section?”</p><p>Regulus pursed his lips in thought for a moment. “I think that should be fine. You’ll just be looking for <em>this</em> book, correct? I don’t have to worry about you finding less <em>savory</em> materials?” He fixed Severus with a stern look.</p><p>“Of course.” Severus nodded quickly. He certainly didn’t want Regulus, of all people, thinking he would be looking up the sorts of things they used to be interested in. “I’ll give you an oath if you require it, but I need to find that book. I need to reread the ritual again.”</p><p>Regulus gave him a long look and nodded. He pulled open his drawer and wrote a quick note out for Severus. “This will give you access to the Restricted Section for a week. I trust you’ll be able to find it in that amount of time?”</p><p>Severus nodded and snatched the piece of parchment from his hand. “Thank you, Professor, truly.”</p><p>“It’s Regulus when we’re alone, Severus,” Regulus reminded him with a smile. “Why do you feel like you need the book so badly?”</p><p>Severus glared at him. He wasn’t really asking that was he? “Don’t you think it’s odd I showed up twenty years into the future in a Gryffindor girls dormitory?”</p><p>Regulus shrugged. “Magic is funny like that sometimes. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be, Severus.”</p><p>Severus shook his head. “There’s more to it than that. I know there is.” He knew it in his very soul and he was determined to find out exactly what that was.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>1 December 1998</em>
</p><p>It took Severus a couple of days before he felt like he was ready to go to the Restricted Section and look for that bloody book. The last thing he wanted was another breakdown about Lily and Granger. So, he was careful with himself, burying his feelings, and working on his stoic exterior once more.</p><p>It was after dinner when he slipped into the library. Madam Pince was manning the desk as usual and handed her the pass Regulus had given him for the Restricted Section. She eyed it and him suspiciously before giving him a short nod. She picked up her wand and gave it a little wave.</p><p>“Sign in to the book in the back and the gate will unlock for you,” she told him quietly. Severus nodded and wound his way through the stacks to the Restricted Section, which was at the very back of the library.</p><p>Before he got there, he heard a giggle. A giggle that tugged at his ears and made his heart skip a beat in his chest. It sounded like Hermione, though he hadn’t had much cause to ever hear her laugh. There was a quiet murmuring and then another short burst of laughter. He stiffened, remembering all the times he had been laughed at before, in his old life, before he came to this strange new future. Was it possible she was laughing at him? He shook his head. She certainly didn’t seem the type, but he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that he needed to see exactly what it was that was making Hermione laugh.</p><p>Taking a detour, he turned left, just before the gate that guarded the Restricted Section, and peeked around a tall bookcase. He almost couldn’t make sense of what he was seeing through the pain that exploded in his chest. Hermione and Malfoy were sitting next to each other at a library table. But they were much closer than two students normally sat.</p><p>Almost on each other’s laps.</p><p>Malfoy had his arm draped across the back of Hermione’s chair and leaned close to whisper something into her ear. That had been the quiet muttering Severus had heard. Whatever Malfoy had said made Hermione tip her head back, joy lighting her face as her quiet laughter spilled from her lips.</p><p>Circe, she looked so pretty when she laughed. Carefree and light and Severus’s heart stuttered to a stop. He was instantly so damned jealous of Malfoy that his hands curled into fists, and he had to physically stop himself from pulling out his wand.</p><p>He wasn’t going to curse his roommate. He just wasn’t.</p><p>It took everything in him to turn away from the canoodling duo and head back to the Restricted Section. He had no claim on Hermione, no matter what his heart was telling him. He took deep breaths to calm himself as he signed into the book near the gate. It clicked open and he entered the Restricted Section proper. The bookcases were labeled by section and Severus ran through them all until he found ritual magic near the back.</p><p>The ritual section took up three entire aisles. He deflated a little, knowing it was going to take him a while to search them all. He knew what the book looked like at least, and it wasn’t likely that Hogwarts would have got another edition in. He could narrow it down based on that, and the fact that it was written in Russian. There could only be so many books written in Russian.</p><p>The book he was looking for may have last been used twenty years ago, but for Severus, it was only a month or so since he had seen it. But he searched the aisles, pulling down every book covered in a dull, burgundy leather, but none of them matched. None showed the Cyrillic letters of the Russian alphabet. He frowned. Perhaps he’d forgotten the colour? It didn’t seem likely, but maybe he should be looking for all of the books written in Russian first. Or… he grimaced at this possibility, maybe it wasn’t here because it had been taken by someone else? What happened to books that were stolen from the library? Did they ever get replaced?</p><p>He had taken the book out, what would have happened when he disappeared? His assumption was that the book would have been found to be a Hogwarts library book, the crest plainly stamped on the inside front cover. But if that didn’t happen, would Madam Pince have replaced it? He didn’t know for sure, and he didn’t feel like he could ask her, it wasn’t likely she would remember anyway. She was brand new when he disappeared all those years ago. Perhaps in the shift from the old librarian to her, the book never got replaced?</p><p>He let out a frustrated snort and glared at the books around him. Speculation wasn’t going to get him anywhere. He needed to find that blasted book. Since none of the burgundy coloured tomes were it, he went and looked for anything written in Cyrillic script. There were even less of those and none of them translated to <em>Magic of the Heart</em> with his, admittedly, not great translation spell. He was starting to feel panicky. The wave of anxiety he had pushed down by knowing he just needed to find the book, by having even that small plan in place, threatened to overwhelm him again. He took deep breaths. What else could have happened to it?</p><p>Misfiled he looked around at the huge Restricted Section, almost half the size of the regular library; it would take him ages to go through all of these books. A bell sounded, the warning bell for curfew and he cursed his luck. He’d just have to come back every night this week to look through the rest of the Restricted Section. He wasn’t going to give up, not yet. There was still hope he would find it and figure out whatever the hell it was that was going on between him and Granger.</p><p>Severus took a few deep breaths: willing his heart to slow in his chest, willing the ache that had formed there to ease, but it didn’t help much. Still feeling on the verge of panic, he eased himself out of the Restricted Section and found himself face-to-face with Hermione and Malfoy. <em>Again</em>.</p><p>He should turn away, it was none of his business what they get up to. <em>Isn’t it though?</em> A quiet voice whispered at the back of his head, and suddenly, Severus found that he couldn't look away from them. They were so close, their bodies touching, their faces almost touching. Malfoy’s hand lightly traced Hermione’s jawline and Severus’s breath caught in his throat at the way she tilted her head to look up at the blond. There was a quirk of Malfoy’s lips, and suddenly, they were pressed against Hermione’s.</p><p>Something felt like it was breaking in Severus’s chest. A choked noise came from his throat and he was moving before he could even comprehend it. His long legs broke into a run before he reached the library doors and he pushed them open with such force they bounced off of the wall. Madam Pince squawked behind him, but he ignored her as he ran. He ignored everything, especially the anguished cry of his name by Granger. He couldn’t think, couldn’t feel. If he allowed himself to feel, then he was going to feel all the hurt and pain of watching Granger kiss Malfoy. He closed his eyes tightly as that image flared in the front of his mind again. It shouldn’t hurt like this, it shouldn’t feel as though his chest had been cleaved into two. Granger wasn’t <em>anything</em> to him. And yet. Yet, this pain was almost worse than the pain he felt upon learning of Lily’s death.</p><p>That had hurt, and the fact that she had married Potter hurt, too, but he had seen the way things were going before he left 1977. He’d seen the way Lily looked at that pompous arse, in his heart of hearts, he knew that Lily wasn’t ever going to be his. He may not have wanted to truly acknowledge that until he’d come forward in time, but he knew it.</p><p>But Granger… Hermione...</p><p>He shook his head, and pushed off from the stairway as it made it’s connection down to the Entrance Hall. He hurried down the dungeon stairs, heading straight for Regulus’s office. He couldn’t think about Granger, he couldn’t think about Malfoy, and he absolutely couldn’t face Malfoy alone in his dormitory. Not when it felt like his chest had been crushed. His throat burned with unshed tears and his vision blurred as he hammered on Regulus’s office door, begging to be let inside.</p><hr/><p>The moment Draco’s lips met hers, Hermione knew it was wrong. The flirting and teasing she and Draco had been doing for the last few days had been fun, but there was still an edge to it that didn’t feel just quite right to her. She hadn’t even been able to name it, really. There was just a jitteriness in her limbs that betrayed that she wasn’t quite as comfortable with the situation as she let on. She let the kiss continue for a heartbeat, but when she heard a gasp, she pushed back from Draco, her eyes going toward that sound. She didn’t know how she’d known it was him, but there was Severus. He had seen them kissing and she only got the briefest look at his pale face before he was dashing off.</p><p>“Severus!” Hermione shouted, not caring that Draco was staring at her with hurt eyes, not caring that they were in the library, her most sacred of sacred places. She only cared about the fact that the dark-haired boy she couldn’t stop dreaming about had just caught her kissing another. Something in her chest cracked at the thought, and she dashed after him, but he was much quicker than she.</p><p>“Severus!” she shouted again just as he pushed open the library doors. The resounded with a loud crack, banging closed and making her flinch.</p><p>“Miss Granger!” Madam Pince shouted, shaking in fury as she stood from behind her desk to scold Hermione. Hermione skidded to a stop, her heart beating wildly at what had just occurred.</p><p>“Sorry, Madam Pince,” Hermione muttered, feeling faint. “It won’t happen again.” She turned to go back to her table to gather her things, and found Draco standing behind her, her bag slung over his shoulder with his own.</p><p>“Come on, I’ll walk you,” Draco murmured, nodding at Madam Pince and leading Hermione out of the library. Hermione felt like she couldn’t breathe. What had she done? What had this foolishness with Draco been?</p><p>Once they were out of the library and in the corridor, Draco slowed. “So that’s the way it is?” he asked, his chin jutting out.</p><p>Hermione scrubbed her face with her hands, surprised to find they came away wet. She didn’t know when she had started crying. “I don’t know,” she shook her head, trying to make sense of what her heart was trying to tell her. “I don’t know what’s happening to me! My heart hurts just thinking about him, but you’ve seen him. He won’t even give me the time of day? Why is it like this? Why shouldn’t it be you?”</p><p>She turned to face him, he was so tall, almost as tall as Severus as he gazed down at her with grey eyes full of pain. Her heart hurt at the sight. It wasn’t just Severus and herself she had hurt with her foolish actions, but Draco too.</p><p>He shrugged, biting the corner of his lip. “The heart wants what the heart wants,” he said. Then he gestured for them to keep walking. “I can at least walk you back to the tower.”</p><p>Hermione shook her head. “No, you don't have to do that Draco. It’s almost curfew. You’ll break your probation.”</p><p>He snorted and grabbed her arm, tucking it into his elbow and tugging her along. “I’m not about to leave a crying witch alone in the corridor. If the Wizengamot wants to punish me for that, then fine. Besides,” he smirked at her just as they arrived at the first set of stairs, “cousin Reggie is my guardian this year. And it’s not like he’ll turn me in. Especially after I explain.”</p><p>Hermione nodded, taking a shaky breath, trying to calm her tears. There was nothing she could do about Severus right now. He clearly didn’t want anything to do with her, judging by the way he fled the library. She was grateful for Draco’s company as they made their way to the seventh floor. They were quiet as they climbed the stairs, each lost in their own thoughts.</p><p>By the time they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, the curfew bell had just rung. “You need to go,” Hermione said, worried all over again that Draco was going to get into trouble.</p><p>He smiled down at her softly and unslung her bag, handing it to her. Then he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “For the record, I wish it could have been me too,” he whispered against her ear.</p><p>Hermione shivered at his words as a fresh wave of tears threatened to spill over. He gave her one last nod and hurried back down the stairs for the dungeons.</p><p>Even during the Horcrux hunt, even at her most vulnerable in Malfoy Manor under Bellatrix’s wand, Hermione had never felt as emotionally wrung out as she did now. Her heart ached in her chest, her throat was tight with tears and her eyes stung. She knew she looked a proper mess, but ignored the questioning looks as she made her way through the Gryffindor common room. She had never felt so dejected, confused, or lonely.</p><hr/><p>Regulus opened his office door, struggling to put on his outer robes when he spotted Severus.</p><p>“Severus? What is it?”</p><p>Severus’s lip trembled and he blinked away the tears that were suddenly in his eyes, and Regulus pulled him into the office by his arm. The door shut with a loud thud behind him as Regulus led him through a small tapestry in the corner of his office that Severus wouldn’t have noticed if Regulus hadn’t pointed it out. It opened into a sitting room. Regulus pushed him to sit on a worn-in looking leather sofa.</p><p>For a moment, the emotional anguish he was feeling was pushed to the back burner as he took in his surroundings. Every wall was covered in bookshelves. And those bookshelves were piled with books. They went from the floor all the way up to the ceiling. There wasn’t a spot to spare, no open shelves for more books to fit. The rest of the room was kitted out in similar furniture to the sofa: warm, brown leather, mahogany end tables, and lamps emitting a soft glow.</p><p>Regulus bustled in a small kitchen area for a few minutes as Severus tried to get a hold of his emotions. He brought a tea tray and settled it on the table between the sofa and an armchair that Regulus then sat in. He closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the heavenly scent of the tea Regulus had poured for them but popped them open again when his mind brought up the image of Granger kissing Malfoy. His entire chest ached at the sight and his throat closed up all over again. What on earth was happening to him?</p><p>For his part, Regulus didn’t say anything for several moments. Severus sipped his tea, trying, but failing, to get the image of Granger and Malfoy kissing out of his head.</p><p>“What do you need?” Regulus finally asked once Severus had finished his tea.</p><p>“I need that blasted book,” Severus grunted. “I can’t find it anywhere, and without it…” he trailed off shaking his head. “I…” he stopped, unable to explain to Regulus just how badly he feared he had messed things up.</p><p>“You need to tell me what’s wrong,” Regulus said with a sigh. “I can’t help you if I don’t know.”</p><p>Severus gulped, his throat suddenly dry. “The ritual was to find my heart’s desire,” he whispered. “I thought it would bring me to Lily, but it didn’t. It brought me here.” He couldn’t meet Regulus’s eyes. It felt so strange to be confiding in someone after all these years. He used to confide in Lily, but it had been years since he had last done that. As much as he hated to have to rely on someone else, Regulus at least seemed to truly want to help him.</p><p>“So you think you messed up the spell?” Regulus asked.</p><p>Severus nodded. “I had to have. What I’m feeling now… it’s more than my heart’s desire. It feels, like, like it’s my bloody <em>soul</em> that’s hurting. I had to have done something wrong.”</p><p>Regulus frowned at him for a moment. “Was the book among your things when you left?”</p><p>Severus nodded. “I had checked it out of the library. It wasn’t a reference book, but it was from the Restricted Section collection, I’m sure of that.”</p><p>“Describe it,” Regulus said. He stood and went over to his bookshelves as Severus described the dull, burgundy cover, and that it was written in Cryillic letters, that Severus had assumed it was written in Russian, but wasn’t quite sure because he used a translation spell for Romantic and German languages.</p><p>“You did what?” Regulus asked at hearing that bit, turning around to look at Severus incredulously.</p><p>Severus hung his head. “I know, bloody stupid of me, but I was desperate, and it was the only translation spell I could find in the library.”</p><p>“And you didn’t think to ask someone?” Regulus asked, shaking his head. “No wonder something went wrong with your little ritual.” He turned back to his shelves. “Title?”</p><p>“I think it translated to <em>Magic of the Heart</em>,” Severus muttered, embarrassed at having been caught reading a book like that, let alone using a spell from it. Regulus looked through his collection, then looked again. He paused and whipped out a book, sucking in a breath through his teeth.</p><p>A few short strides and he was standing in front of Severus. “Was this it?”</p><p>Severus’s heart sped up in his chest at the sight of the book. It’s the exact same book, actually. He recognized the shape of the water spot on the front. “Yes! This is it! Why do you have it? Why wasn’t it in the library?”</p><p>Regulus shook his head. “I took all your things. I think? It’s hard to remember exactly what happened back then, it’s been so long. But we looked for you and when we couldn’t find you, Dumbledore didn’t know what to do with your things, so I took them. I kept them for years and years, before finally throwing out everything that wasn’t a book.” He shrugged, “I’m sorry about that. I’ll replace anything you need.”</p><p>He didn’t hand the book to Severus, instead he flipped through it, about halfway in, he stopped and Severus knew that page. “It was this one, right?” he asked, pointing to the page and flipping the book around for Severus to be able to read it.</p><p>“Yes, that one,” Severus said. “The heart’s desire spell.”</p><p>Regulus shook his head, huffing a breath through his nose. “You idiot. That’s not the heart's desire, that’s a <em>soul fire</em> spell. It brings you to your bloody soulmate. <em>That’s</em> why it brought you forward through time. Your heart’s desire would not have been that strong, only soul magic can move through time like that.”</p><p>Severus leaned back into the couch, utterly gobsmacked. He knew he had done something wrong, but soulmates? He and Granger were soulmates? “We can’t be,” he shook his head, not believing it, “she was just kissing Malfoy! She doesn’t want me. It wasn’t worth this. All of this.” He dropped his head into his hands, fisting his hands into his hair “Now I’m here. Alone. With nobody and nothing and I have to watch my soulmate love someone else.”</p><p>If before it felt as if his soul was tearing in two, now it absolutely was being torn into two pieces. Everything ached, his entire body, his brain, his fucking <em>soul</em>.</p><p>How could he have fucked up so badly? What had he done in life to deserve this?</p><p>“You have me,” Regulus said, sitting next to him on the sofa and laying a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>Severus hated himself for it, but he couldn’t help the fact that he started crying. Great, ugly sobs that hurt his chest and his throat and made his nose block up with mucus. He had never felt so alone in all his life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Severus Mopes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>4 December 1998</em>
</p><p>Severus knew he was moping, he knew he was being bloody annoying about it too, but he also couldn’t seem to stop himself. He hadn’t ever really hated himself as much as he did right now. Not even after the incident in fifth year that made him fall out with Lily did he loathe his own being as much as he did knowing he had a soulmate—<em>a</em> <em>fucking</em> <em>soulmate</em>—and yet it was clear that she didn’t want him.</p><p>He laughed to himself, not feeling even the least bit amused. Why in the hell would she want him when she could have a Malfoy?</p><p>He understood perfectly why Granger wanted nothing to do with him and found herself kissing a Malfoy. Hell, if he swung that way and Malfoy was interested in him, he’d give it a try, just to not have to struggle so hard to live. To not have to live in the filth and squalor he had as a child would have been worth it all on its own, but Malfoy was also pretty. It all made sense to Severus logically.... but in his heart? In his heart, he felt like he was dying.</p><p>“Is this what having a soulmate is always like?” he’d asked Regulus the morning after they’d discovered exactly what kind of ritual Severus had performed.</p><p>Regulus shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea. I’ve never met anyone with a confirmed soulmate.”</p><p>“Probably because they’re all smarter than I am,” he grumbled to himself. He was staying on Regulus’s couch for the time being. Skipping classes wasn’t like him, but Granger and Malfoy were in every single one of them.</p><p>He couldn’t face them. Not yet. Not when it felt like his heart wasn’t thudding properly in his chest. Not when it felt like his soul was in tatters and his nerves shot. His hands shook all the time and he just knew that trying to attempt potions class with hands that shook that badly would end terribly.</p><p>He was more thankful to Regulus than ever when he allowed Severus to stay. “A week, maybe a few more days, but much more than that and McGonagall might get irritated with the situation. It’s been bad enough holding her off while you’re not attending classes.” Regulus eyed him closely. “I wish there was something I could do to ease the soul ache.”</p><p>Severus shrugged. He was used to pain, even though he’d never felt pain like this before. What could Regulus do about it? It was Severus’s burden to bear and bear it he would. For as long as he had to. The school year wasn’t quite half-way over with, but if he could just get through it, then he wouldn’t have to see Granger and Malfoy every day all day. That should help with some of the pain in his chest, shouldn’t it?</p><p>Right now, it felt as if a four stone weight sat on his chest at all times. It was uncomfortable and he wanted to say it was unbearable, but he was going to have to bear it. He was going to have to learn to live with it, even if nothing seemed all that worth living for right now. Maybe if he could get back to the past, that would change things? Granger wouldn’t be around to be his soulmate anymore. The idea had merit until he brought it up with Regulus.</p><p>“Even if you managed it, you’d still be soul sick,” Regulus said. “It’s not as if you’d forget that you had a soulmate. It would just be worse because she’d be a child and you’d be unable to even hope to reconcile with her.”</p><p>“Maybe you ought to Obliviate me then,” Severus muttered. Forgetting about the soulmate, forgetting about Granger, forgetting seeing her kiss Malfoy over and over and over again in his mind would be a blessing indeed.</p><p>“Some things are impossible to forget,” Regulus replied sadly. “Even if we did try to Obliviate you, it’s likely that something as serious as a soulmate wouldn’t get erased. And even if it did, that spell triggered something for Miss Granger, too. She’s been asking about you.”</p><p>“Please don’t tell her anything,” Severus replied. “I’m not ready to have that conversation with her.”</p><p>Regulus’s lips tightened, but he nodded. “I won’t, but it’s not something you can put off forever, you know.”</p><p>“I know,” Severus whispered and turned away to look at the massive bookshelves, ending the conversation.</p><p>When they weren’t discussing the soulmate situation, they talked about what Severus had missed in the last twenty years. He was horrified to hear how much Regulus had suffered at the Dark Lord’s hands. It was still hard for Severus to say Voldemort, even in his own mind. He would forever be the Dark Lord to him. The all-powerful Dark Lord that Severus once had hopes of joining, if only because it would give him what he seemed to lack most in the world: Power.</p><p>But the Dark Lord had been defeated. By a boy Severus’s age, no less. It was taking Severus a while to come to terms with it all. The Dark Lord had been insane. Insane <em>and</em> unstable, near the end, according to Regulus. Focusing only on a boy, and almost nothing else. It seemed<em> inconceivable</em> to Severus that the Dark Lord could be defeated so handily.</p><p>When he said as much to Regulus, he had laughed bitterly. “It wasn’t easy by any means. There were a lot of deaths, a lot of sacrifices made by a lot of people to make it happen. I’m glad it’s over and done with, but there are a lot of things I wished had happened differently.”</p><p>Severus nodded, still unsure how he felt about it all. If the Dark Lord was truly a maniac, then, of course, Severus was happy that he was no longer around to torment anyone. He was even maybe a little happy that he hadn’t had a chance to join the Death Eaters, after some of the things Regulus had told him. The going after Muggles and Muggle-borns bit of the Dark Lord’s philosophy had always bothered Severus, but the need for some kind of power in his life had always seemed more important to him.</p><p>Granger was a Muggle-born though, like Lily. Lily had died, not just because of some stupid prophecy, but in part, because she was a Muggle-born. How could he square his need for power through the Dark Lord, with the fact that his first friend and his soulmate both had been targeted by him?</p><p>Even if Granger wasn’t interested in him, she was still his soulmate. Still his perfect match, somehow, and the idea that his perfect match was someone who the Dark Lord would have taken major issue with unsettled him to a disturbing degree. Perhaps, Regulus had the right of it. That the Dark Lord, as powerful as he was, was bad for the wizarding world. That he had to have been defeated. It’s not like there was anything Severus could do about the Dark Lord now that he was dead and gone. It was time to move on with his life, but he still wasn’t sure how to do that.</p><p>He looked to Regulus to see how he had moved on after the Death Eaters, but he seemed to live a singularly boring life. He was single, teaching potions, which he confessed to only sort of liking. He had no heir. In fact, he allowed his older brother to name the famous Harry Potter as his heir over Regulus. His former friend seemingly had nothing and wasn’t that a terribly boring and tragic way to live.</p><p>Severus was nervous asking about it, but he had to know. “Why is it you’re doing what you’re doing? Why didn’t you quit if you don’t like teaching?”</p><p>Regulus laughed quietly. “After you disappeared, I felt a little stuck. I wasn’t sure what to do, and when both Dumbledore and Voldemort wanted me to take up the Potions position, I decided to do it. Turning on Voldemort gave me some purpose, though not much. Then after the first war, it was easier to just continue carrying on. I considered quitting half a dozen times, but Dumbledore always managed to talk me out of it. Then Voldemort was back, and it was more important than ever that I stay in my role. Stay to play the spy for Voldemort. Help shape Potter as much as he would allow,” Regulus sighed bitterly, looking even older than his thirty-seven years.</p><p>“I’d probably quit this year if it weren’t for Draco. He’s on probation, through the end of the school year. As long as he causes no trouble, and his guardian,”— He pointed at himself—“signs off on it, he’ll be free next year with no restrictions.”</p><p>Severus nodded, understanding. “What will you do next year then?”</p><p>“Retire if McGonagall lets me,” Regulus said, barking out another laugh.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>7 December 1998</em>
</p><p>Severus knew it was time to stop hiding out from classes, but the longer he stayed away, the easier it became to justify to himself that he wasn’t ready to go back yet. Besides, it wasn’t like he wasn’t learning, Regulus had a library fit for a king and Severus was determined to read as much of it as he could. He had just selected a book when there was a knock on the door that led to the hallway outside of Regulus’s quarters. Severus knew that Regulus wouldn’t knock and that he was teaching third years at the moment. He debated not answering it, but then the thought of it being a firstie who needed Regulus nagged at him, so he went to the door to see who it was.</p><p>They knocked again, louder, longer, just before he opened it. He stepped back when he saw Granger standing there with her hands on her hips, looking bloody furious.</p><p>“Soulmates!” she spat, poking him in the chest with her finger. It hurt, but on top of the hurt, it felt good that she was touching him. He shook his head at that bizarre thought. “We’re bloody soulmates and you didn’t think to tell me? Were you <em>ever</em> going to tell me?”</p><p>Severus narrowed his eyes at her and sneered. “How the hell do you know? Why do you even care? You have Malfoy. He’s better looking, richer, a better prospect all around.”</p><p>Her eyes widened and then flashed with anger. “Soulmates, Severus Snape. We’re <em>soulmates</em>. It doesn’t matter if I had a hundred Draco’s. It’s only you I’d want. It’s <em>you</em> I’d bloody pine for.” Her chest was heaving with the conviction of her words and Severus felt… he wasn’t sure what he felt. He was so overwhelmed with emotions. Hope fluttered through his chest at her words, but so did confusion, dismay, the idea that he might disappoint her in some fashion, soulmates or not. He felt dumbfounded. Not something he was used to feeling.</p><p>“What?” he asked, stupidly.</p><p>Before Granger could say anything else, Regulus came into view, seemingly slightly out of breath. Severus registered his presence, but couldn’t take his eyes away from Granger. Despite everything, he still found her bloody gorgeous. Her hair seemed to swell with her emotions and was almost twice the size it normally was, dwarfing her. Her nose was small and upturned, and he could still see the faint freckles that stood out as she paled from anger. The idea of wrapping his arms around her waist occurred to him, but he closed his eyes, knowing she wouldn’t want that. Wouldn’t want any sort of affection from him, regardless of the fact that they were soulmates.</p><p>“You told her,” he asked Regulus, finally tearing his eyes from Granger to his old friend. Unlike all the other emotions swirling through him the feeling he felt at the idea of Regulus having told Granger was easy to categorize. <em>Betrayal</em> ran hot and heavy through his limbs.</p><p>Regulus sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I told Draco. He’s my cousin, my ward, my <em>responsibility</em>. I thought that he ought to know the lay of the land so as not to get hurt.”</p><p>“Get your head out of your arse,” Granger hissed to him and then whirled around and stomped away. Severus just watched her go. He still wasn’t sure what the hell to do with any of it. All he knew was that he desperately wanted to continue hiding from her and the rest of the world.</p><hr/><p>Hermione could feel her magic sparking in her hair as she stomped away from Professor Black’s quarters. If Draco hadn’t told her about her being soulmates with Severus, she <em>still</em> wouldn’t know why the hell she was feeling so bloody awful all of the time. Her temper, never great to begin with, was even shorter than usual. She found herself snapping at firstie’s for crying out loud.</p><p>It wasn’t until she badgered the location of Professor Black’s quarters out of Draco that she had even gone to track down Severus. First, she and Draco had done as much research on soulmates and soul magic as they could in the library, though they hadn’t come across whatever ritual it was that Severus had used to come forward in time. They hadn’t found anything like that in the meager selection that the library offered.</p><p>Her heart had ached after Draco had told her. “Was his life so awful?” she’d asked him. Why else would he have done a spell to seek out his soulmate unless he was desperately unhappy? That was the only reason Hermione could think of that would make her perform such a spell. Soul magic was dangerous and only mentioned in sixth year as a type of magic to stay far away from. Not only dangerous but unpredictable. One’s perfect soulmate could be an acquaintance, or someone twenty years in the future, or someone a thousand years in the past.</p><p>Draco shrugged. “I’ve never heard Regulus talk about him before. I have no idea, though if he was set on becoming a Death Eater like Regulus, probably?”</p><p>It was a small consolation that he wouldn’t have performed the spell without things having been dire, but it was clear that whatever he had been expecting from the spell, being dragged twenty years into the future, wasn’t it. And being tied to her was upsetting enough for him that he’d hid in Professor Black’s rooms for a week. She tried not to take it personally, but the longer he hid away the harder it was getting.</p><p>“Would you ever perform a spell like that?” she asked Draco a few days after she had found out. She’d been trying to think just what in her life would have to go wrong for her to want to leave everyone behind and travel to wherever her soulmate was.</p><p>Draco shook his head, quite vehemently. “I wouldn’t. Couldn’t risk it. Mother…” he trailed off, not continuing, but Hermione knew, she patted his arm. Offering him what comfort she could. Narcissa had been tortured by several rogue Death Eaters after the final battle was over for lying to the Dark Lord. Despite the fact that the Dark Lord was dead already, his followers were a fanatic bunch. She still hadn’t quite recovered and with Lucius in Azkaban, she wasn’t doing well. Draco made as many trips home to see her as Professor Black could be spared from his duties.</p><p>She made it to her usual table in the library, surprised to find Draco still there. “I take it didn’t go well?” Draco asked quietly as he made space for her.</p><p>Hermione huffed into a chair. “He’s upset about you… he thinks…” she trailed off not sure how to phrase it. That could be the only reason for his refusal of her, couldn't it?</p><p>Draco stilled and swallowed hard. “We don’t have to be friends,” he offered quietly.</p><p>Hermione let out an offended gasp. “I’m not letting that bull-headed prig decide who I’m allowed to be friends with. He can just accept it and move on,” she told Draco fiercely.</p><p>Draco offered her a small smirk. “I’ve come to value your friendship too, Granger.”</p><p>Hermione nodded, glad they agreed there, then groaned. “He’s just so bloody hard to have a conversation with. If I could just sit him down and explain everything without him snarling and snapping at me.”</p><p>“Maybe I can help with that,” Draco said, with a mischievous gleam in his eye. Hermione narrowed her gaze at him.</p><p>“And how do you plan to do that?”</p><p>“Oh, leave the planning up to me,” he replied. “Come on, let’s get our Transfiguration essay done.”</p><p>She kept her eye on him for a long moment then sighed and dug through her bag for the half-written scroll she had been working on before needling Professor Black’s quarters out of him. At least Draco was as dedicated to his schoolwork as she was and helped keep her on track, despite her inability to focus these days.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>10 December 1998</em>
</p><p>It had been three days since Hermione had confronted Severus in front of Professor Black’s quarters, and <em>still</em>, Severus was nowhere to be seen around the castle. It was starting to get rather annoying and she was trying to decide if she should bombard him again in Professor Black’s quarters when Draco came to find her in the library.</p><p>“I have something for you,” he said with a small smile, beckoning her to stand up.</p><p>“Can’t you give it to me here?” Hermione asked with a frown. She didn’t know what Draco was up to, and she wasn’t sure she was going to like any sort of surprise he had for her.</p><p>“I can’t. Come on, Granger. I promise, it’ll be worth it,” he said with a slight sparkle in his eye. He looked better than he had in the last few days, so Hermione sighed and packed up her belongings.</p><p>“Is it round?” Hermione asked as he led her through the corridors. Draco shook his head, a clear smile on his face. “Blue?” Another shake of his head. “Long?” Again a shake of his head, this one accompanied by a snort.</p><p>“I’m not telling you. You have to see it,” Draco said.</p><p>“I don’t really like surprises,” Hermione replied, feeling some trepidation about where exactly Draco was leading her too. Especially as they stepped over a pile of rubble that had yet to be cleared. The corridor they were in wasn’t in active use, in fact, Hermione was sure that there had been a ward up at the end of it earlier this year warning people to stay out of the corridor. “What is back here?” she asked with a wrinkled nose.</p><p>“Granger, we’re friends, right?” Draco asked, finally turning to face her just as he stood outside of a closed door to what Hermione assumed was an abandoned classroom.</p><p>“Of course, we are,” Hermione replied fiercely.</p><p>“And you trust me, right? Since we’re <em>friends</em> and all?”</p><p>Hermione pursed her lips and shrugged, looking away from Draco. “Seven years of bad blood is hard to get over in a few days,” she reminded him.</p><p>Draco nodded, ducking his head. “You’re right, of course. But I promise I brought you here for good intentions. Come on.” He opened the door and stepped inside. Hermione hesitated for a moment, hearing a strange, strangled sound, and followed him in.</p><p>Severus Snape was in the room, tied to a chair and snarling at Draco through a gag.</p><p>“Draco!” Hermione shouted, running to Severus’s side and releasing the gag.</p><p>“I figured this way, he’d have to listen to you,” Draco told her with a shrug.</p><p>Hermione hated to admit that perhaps Draco was right. And she certainly wasn’t going to admit it to him. “Fine, you can go now.”</p><p>Draco gave her a devastating smirk. And if Hermione hadn’t been soulmates with Severus, she was sure it would have done funny things to her insides, but instead, it just made her smile back at him.</p><p>“You’re welcome, Granger,” he said as he sauntered out of the abandoned, debris-strewn classroom, slamming the door on his way out.</p><p>She turned back to face Severus, who was glaring at where Draco had left, ignoring Hermione completely. She narrowed her eyes at him.</p><p>“I <em>should</em> untie you, but Draco is right. If this is the only way you’ll bloody talk to me, so be it.”</p><p>Severus turned his glare to her, and it was icy enough to make Hermione shiver. “Untie me.” She almost started forward at his command, it was so forceful, but she held back, rocking on her heels and clasping her arms behind her back.</p><p>“Not until you listen to me,” she said, returning his glare. She fully expected him to look away, to ignore her, as he had been for the last week, but he didn’t. He just looked at her as if he couldn’t get enough of what he was seeing. She was sure she was imagining it, but maybe not because she was looking at him the same way. Just being in the same room as her soulmate was devastating in the best possible way. She was aware of the way her heart thudded loudly in her chest. And the way her skin tingled with anticipation.</p><p>“Draco and I are <em>not</em> together,” Hermione said, swallowing thickly. “We’ve never been together, nor will we ever be together. We’re friends, nothing more.” Severus snorted at the word friends, his gaze hardening into a glare again.</p><p>“You didn’t look like friends last week,” he snarled.</p><p>“Last week? When he kissed me and I immediately pushed him away because it felt as if I was going to upchuck on his shoes, you mean?” Hermione asked in a deadly, sweet tone. “If you’d bothered to stick around and fight for your <em>soulmate</em>, instead of just giving up, you’d have seen all that.”</p><p>He huffed out a breath and didn’t say anything, though his gaze never left her. She could feel the weight of it, even as she sighed and smoothed her hair back from her face, tilting her head to look at the ceiling and trying to regain her composure.</p><p>“And I still can’t <em>believe</em> you kept the soulmate thing from me,” she said after a few minutes, turning her eyes back to him. “How could you?”</p><p>Severus finally broke his gaze from her and hung his head. “I didn’t actually find out until a few days before Regulus told Draco,” he admitted quietly. “It’s not been easy, traveling twenty years into the future. Everything I’ve known is gone and…” he trailed off, shaking his head.</p><p>“But why wouldn’t you tell me yourself? Why would you hide from me? I know we don’t know each other all that well, but if we’re soulmates, I’d <em>like</em> to know you,” Hermione replied softly. She walked a few steps closer to him. “I’m sure it must be impossibly difficult to be thrown out of your time, but I’d like to help. If you’ll let me.”</p><p>A muscle ticked in his jaw and he looked up, not quite meeting her gaze though. “You seemed happy with Malfoy. Flirty. Giggly. He’s everything I’m not,” he said through gritted teeth.</p><p>Hermione knelt down on the dirty floor, reaching up to cup Severus’s face to get him to look at her. “When I go to sleep, I see eyes as dark as night. I dream of a dark-haired boy desperate to do anything to bring him happiness. I see <em>you</em>, Severus Snape, performing that ritual over and over again.”</p><p>“Untie me,” he said, his voice pained.</p><p>Hermione searched his face for a long moment, trying to figure out if he was going to run from her again, but it wasn’t clear. The intensity of his gaze felt like a live wire along her skin, though. That seemed like a good sign. She stood and moved around him, pulling out her wand. With a tap on the ropes that bound his hands and arms, they slithered away.</p><p>A moment later, Severus was up out of the chair and stalking toward her. She backed up a step, then two as he came closer and closer. She didn’t think he was going to hurt her, but she didn’t actually know. As her back hit the dusty wall behind her, she tilted her chin up in defiance.</p><p>“I dream of you too,” he whispered, pressing his body as close to hers as he could get, his hand tracing the curve of her cheekbone. “Every night. I dream of bushy, brown hair, dark skin, a face with a smattering of freckles, and the warmest, kindest golden-brown eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.”</p><p>He pressed a kiss to her lips.</p><p>Hermione gasped at the sensation of his lips on hers. Her hair stood on end, goose flesh breaking out all along her body. She half expected him to pull away, but he didn’t. He deepened the kiss instead. So she wound her hands around his shoulders, plunging one into the inky blackness of his hair, pulling him down to her even as she arched her body into his. She hadn’t had many kisses in her life, but the one Severus gave her then blew the rest completely out of the water. She never wanted it to end; She never wanted the feelings that were coursing through her veins to end. If this was what having a soulmate was all about, Hermione wanted to live no other way.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Sweet as This</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>A/N: Thanks again to the mods for hosting this fest! Thanks to my teammate LunaP999 for her amazing artwork! Thanks to my lovely beta's Ravenpufflove, UrsulaHood, and Silver Lionness for their hard work as well! </b>
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  <b>Last but not least, thank you, dear reader, for taking the time to read this. And an extra thanks to all of those who have felt moved to comment. I've loved waking up to those emails each morning. Enjoy the final chapter!</b>
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  <em>18 December 1998</em>
</p><p>Severus found himself back on the Hogwarts Express for the Christmas holidays. He was nervous about meeting Hermione’s parents, but she insisted. He had discovered that when Hermione wanted something, she often got her wish through sheer perseverance. Him traveling home with her to the exurbs of Muggle London was no exception.</p><p>“They’ll like you, promise,” Hermione reassured him again.</p><p>“He’s probably not spent much time in a Muggle house, have you?” Draco asked from the other side of the carriage. He was <em>Draco</em> now, even if Severus didn’t like the other boy nearly as much as Hermione seemed to.</p><p>“’Course I have,” Severus muttered. “My da was a Muggle.”</p><p>“Really?” Hermione asked brightly, before sobering. “You’ll have to tell me about your parents sometime. I know Regulus said they passed. I’m so sorry Severus.”</p><p>“Well, I put my foot in it,” Draco said quietly. “Sorry Severus. Don’t be nervous. Hermione’s parents can’t be nearly as bad as she is.”</p><p>“Draco!” Hermione gasped with a laugh, throwing a pumpkin pasty at him.</p><p>“Yum, I was waiting for one of these,” he said with a grin, tearing open the package. Severus smiled slightly at their antics, his anxiety only a little relieved.</p><p>When they arrived at King’s Cross, he found a pair of well-dressed Muggles waiting for them. The smiles they gave Hermione were tight and there weren’t any hugs exchanged. Given Hermione’s natural warmth, Severus thought it was strange that her parents were so cold toward her. The only thing that gave Hermione away, was a tightening on his hand and a tick in her jaw.</p><p>Her parents worked the week leading up to Christmas, leaving Severus and Hermione the run of the house. Hermione took him to main street so they could buy last minute gifts. Severus was still embarrassed by his impoverished status, but Regulus had taken care of him, giving him a generous amount of pocket money for the holidays.</p><p>Given the chill atmosphere of the house, Severus was determined to pick out the perfect gifts for Hermione’s parents for Christmas. Not only as a thank you for letting him stay for the holidays, but also to try and get them to like him. Perhaps that was the reason they were so cold to Hermione.</p><p>When Christmas Eve rolled around the four of them had a delicious meal that Mrs Granger had prepared. Hermione had tried to help, but her mother had declined her every time she offered. The last time, she snapped at Hermione to get out of the kitchen, so Hermione slunk back to the lounge in a funk. Severus couldn’t quite figure out what the underlying current of the household was, but clearly there was something there he was missing.</p><p>It wasn’t until later that night, after dinner had been eaten and after Hermione’s parents had gone to bed, that he found out. He heard Hermione crying in her room on his way back from the bathroom.</p><p>“Hermione?” he asked, tapping on the door. She sniffled, not saying anything and Severus held his breath as he slowly opened the door. She was seated on her bed, her back against the headboard, and her knees to her chest with her arms around them.</p><p>“Are you alright?” he asked, closing the door softly behind him and crossing the room to her. She had her face buried in her knees. She shook her head no, her giant mass of hair quivering as she took a deep breath. “Want to talk about it?”</p><p>She shrugged, and he took that as an invitation. He settled onto the bed. It was a single, not quite big enough for both of them, and the moment he settled down she flung herself at him burying her face against his chest.</p><p>“They hate me,” she whispered through her tears.</p><p>“Who?” asked Severus. He held her close, a hand in her hair and one on her back.</p><p>“My parents,” Hermione explained. “I was so terrified for them during the war. There was nobody to protect them and being Harry’s friend... I just... I panicked. I Obliviated myself from their memories and sent them off to live in Australia, with no idea that they had a daughter.”</p><p>“Oh, Hermione,” Severus murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He could picture her: pacing, biting her lip as she tried to figure out the best way to protect her parents.</p><p>It hadn’t occurred to him what the coldness they held towards her was about. He had assumed it was because she was a witch and they were Muggles, but this was worse. He sighed. Of course, they were cold with her. They must have been furious when they found out what she’d done. He wasn’t sure he would have had the same devotion to his own parents, but he could admire Hermione for hers. It was clear how much she loved them and wanted them in her life. He would just have to try harder for them. Maybe in a few years, they would warm up to her.</p><p>That night, he and Hermione fell asleep clutching one another, and it was one of the best sleeps of Severus’s life.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>23 April 1999</em>
</p><p>They didn’t go to Hermione’s parents house for Easter. When Severus asked Hermione why, she lied and said it was because it was too close to NEWTs. He knew she was lying, because she didn’t look at him when she mumbled it. She was also wringing her hands. A classic Hermione tell when she was lying. He didn’t know what it was about Easter that made her not want to see her parents, but Severus wasn’t going to question it. Clearly, something was happening, because the closer they got to Easter break the more deranged Hermione was acting.</p><p>She had rearranged her study time-tables six times before Severus finally put a stop to it.</p><p>“But this one is far superior,” Hermione said, of the seventh she was half-way through creating.</p><p>“Hermione, it’s the exact same one as the third one you’ve done,” Severus responded, pulling the third one from the crumpled pile and smoothing it out to show to her. “They’re all fine. You need to stop obsessing over the time-table.”</p><p>She gulped and nodded her head several times, her hair wobbled as she did. “You’re right, of course you are. I should be spending this time revising instead. I’ve lost loads of time already on this nonsense.” She crumpled the half-completed seventh version and took the third one from Severus’s hands.</p><p>He watched her in the days leading up to the break, unsure of what exactly was going on. She seemed to be in a low-level panic at all times. Draco was no help, he’d practically disappeared. He never showed up at their study sessions in the library and was rarely at meals. In fact, he was hardly in the Slytherin common room or dormitory either.</p><p>Severus was getting the feeling that whatever was going on with both Draco and Hermione, it was related.</p><p>Finally, it was the day of the holiday itself and Severus couldn’t find Hermione anywhere. He bribed a second year Gryffindor into letting him into the Gryffindor common room. There were hardly any students staying during this break and the common room was completely empty. He tried climbing the stairs to the girls dormitory, but there was some sort of charm on them that turned them into a slide beneath his feet. Nothing Severus did worked to remove the charm, so he just started shouting Hermione’s name.</p><p>“Severus?” her curly head peeked around the corner of the stairs as she stared down at him. He could tell even from this distance that her eyes were red.</p><p>“What is going on?” Severus shouted. She shook her head and flicked her wand, turning the slide back into steps, which he took two at a time to get to her.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I didn’t think,” she shook her head and turned to go back into her dormitory, and he trailed after her. Her roommate had gone home for the holiday, so the room was empty.</p><p>“Didn’t think what?” Severus asked as she curled up on her bed, much the same way she had done at Christmas. He was beginning to think this was something else about the war.</p><p>“How my moping would affect you. It was thoughtless of me,” Hermione replied quietly.</p><p>Severus sighed and ran a hand down his face as he sat next to her on the bed. “Only because I’m bloody worried about you,” he told her. “You’ve been manic and half mad for weeks, then you just disappear on the holiday and when I come looking for you. It’s clear you’ve been crying. Please tell me what is going on with you.”</p><p>“It’s just a hard anniversary,” Hermione said, tears spilling over onto her cheeks. Severus wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>She sighed heavily, then shoved up the jumper sleeve of her left arm, showing Severus an ugly scar that wasn’t quite healed.</p><p>“Mudblood? <em>Who did that to you</em>?” Severus asked horrified as he stared down at his soulmate. Who would dare carve up such a beautiful creature? Rage boiled in his chest as he realized that this must have happened in the war.</p><p>“Last Easter, Harry, Ron, and I were on the run. It was the middle of the war, we were looking for Horcruxes, and we got into an argument.” She shook her head, more tears falling. “A bloody stupid argument. Harry said Voldemort’s name. There was a taboo on the name and the moment he said it Snatchers Apparated to where we were. We ran, tried to fight them, but Harry’s wand had been snapped months before and we were sharing mine. We were caught. I hexed Harry so he didn’t look like Harry, but they still took us to Malfoy Manor—”</p><p>“Malfoy, you mean Draco’s home,” Severus said, putting the pieces together. No wonder Draco hadn’t been seen in days.</p><p>“Yes,” Hermione said with a nod. “He was home on Easter holiday,” she gave a sad, watery smile. “As were his parents and his aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange.”</p><p>Severus recoiled. Bellatrix was known for being half-crazed in the 70s. He couldn’t imagine what she would have been like twenty years later.</p><p>“Yes, she was a nasty piece of work,” Hermione said quietly. “She’s the one who did this. She tortured me for information on Gryffindor’s sword, which they found among our possessions. She thought it was locked up in her vault at Gringotts, but that was only a copy.”</p><p>“Tortured you?” Severus asked, feeling his own eyes sting with tears. “As in the Cruciatus?”</p><p>Hermione nodded, burying her face back into his chest. “It was awful. I thought I was going to die. For a while there, I <em>wanted</em> to die. Just to make it stop. Just to make the pain go away.”</p><p>Severus held her the rest of the day, both furious that he wasn’t there to protect her last year and upset that she had to go through anything like that. It had taken him a while to come to terms with the fact that the Dark Lord was a monster, but hearing Hermione’s tale of her time spent at Malfoy Manor, he was very, very glad that he had never taken the Dark Mark. He was glad he had flung himself so many years in the future if it meant he hadn’t made that mistake.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>24 April 1999</em>
</p><p>Severus finally caught up to Draco as he was leaving Regulus’s rooms. He cast a tripping jinx at him and when he was flat on his back, Severus put his boot on Draco’s chest, his wand pointed at his face. “You stood by and watched her get tortured.”</p><p>Draco’s entire face fell. He looked down, and nodded. “I did.”</p><p>“I should kill you for that,” Severus growled.</p><p>“Probably,” Draco agreed, his voice raspy with unshed tears. He met Severus’s eyes. He had expected Draco to act like a coward, since he had been hiding for most of the week. But maybe he was hiding to spare Hermione.</p><p>“If you had to do it again?” Severus asked, his wand still in Draco’s face, his boot still on Draco’s chest.</p><p>“I’d put myself in front of my aunt's wand. I regret letting that happen more than I regret getting the Dark Mark. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I’ll never not be ashamed of the way I behaved.” Tears did fall from his eyes then, leaking down the side of his face to the floor. He didn’t bother to wipe them.</p><p>“Good,” Severus said, then removed his boot from Draco’s chest and offered him a hand to help him to his feet. Draco seemed relieved that Severus wasn’t going to do something worse to him.</p><p>After that, things were better again. Draco stopped hiding from them and Hermione calmed down.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>21 June 1999</em>
</p><p>It was the first day of NEWTs, and Severus had not seen Hermione look as pale as she did. She was hastily reviewing her notes for Transfiguration later that morning, mumbling spells and practicing wand movements with her fork.</p><p>Though she hadn’t taken a bite of her breakfast. He frowned and shoved a sausage up to her mouth. She took a bite, without even bothering to look at him as she shuffled through her notes again. He continued feeding her in between bites of his own. He had <em>never</em> seen someone obsess over their schoolwork the way Hermione obsessed over hers. He took his studies seriously, spending a lot of time reading and revising, but Hermione made him look downright lazy.</p><p>The third day of NEWTs, he found Hermione looking awful at breakfast.</p><p>“Didn’t you sleep well?” he asked as he poured her a cup of tea. She shook her head.</p><p>“Didn’t sleep at all, I’m afraid,” she admitted quietly. Draco snorted from across them and Severus sent him a glare.</p><p>“How can you expect to do well if you don’t get the proper rest?” Severus asked her.</p><p>“I completely forgot to revise on Pennifold’s Theorems,” she explained with a shake of her head. “I had to stay up to review all eight of them.”</p><p>“We did Pennifold’s Theorems two weeks ago,” Severus protested. “Your sleep is more important than that.”</p><p>Draco kicked him from across the table and shook his head. Severus frowned at them both. Hermione was once again reviewing notes and not eating. He held a piece of scrambled egg to her lips and she took it off his fork, chewing as she twirled her own fork, practicing wand movements.</p><p>That night, after dinner, instead of allowing Hermione to go to the Gryffindor common room, he convinced her to join him and Draco in the Slytherin common room. Then when curfew hit, he pulled her into the Slytherin boys dormitory and into bed with him. She was forced to sleep as Severus wasn’t about to let her do anything but.</p><p>On Thursday morning, she was much more relaxed and even ate on her own. Severus did the same thing Thursday evening, making her come to bed with him. It was against every rule Hogwarts had, but Draco wasn’t telling, and Regulus pretended not to notice Hermione in the crowd of Slytherins who left the common room for breakfast.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>30 June 1999</em>
</p><p>After a week and a half of grueling examinations, NEWTs were finally over. Hermione seemed to let out a breath she had been holding constantly, and she gave Severus a true smile for the first time in weeks.</p><p>“I’m so glad that’s over with,” she told him as they headed out of the castle and down to the Black Lake. It was a blisteringly warm day and they had both shed their outer robes. Severus worked his tie loose and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt.</p><p>“Have you given any thought to what you’re going to do when we leave in a few days?” he asked her cautiously. He knew what he wanted, he was prepared to ask for it, but they hadn’t really discussed much beyond NEWTs. Hermione had put him off every time he asked about it.</p><p>“I’m not sure,” Hermione said with a frown. “Go home to my parent’s house. Apply for jobs in the Ministry, I suppose.”</p><p>“I would have thought with someone who took their studies as seriously as you do that you would have everything figured out,” he commented lightly as they reached the lake shore. Hermione sat on a rock, pulling off her socks and shoes to dip her toes into the water lapping gently against it. Severus settled next to her, surprised yet pleased when she leaned against him.</p><p>“Maybe I did once,” she replied with a sigh, “but war changes people. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to fight for the rights of those who wizarding society deems lesser.” She rubbed her scarred forearm absently. “I still want to do those things, but working a job in the Ministry feels a little soul-sucking now.”</p><p>“Move in with me,” Severus blurted out. “I’ve secured a flat in Diagon Alley. It’s got three bedrooms. I was hoping to use one for a potions laboratory. I want to start brewing for a few apothecaries. I have designs to open my own shop in a few years.”</p><p>She turned to look up at him. “I knew you liked potions, but I didn’t know you were so keen on it,” she replied.</p><p>“Regulus thinks he can help me get my mastery,” Severus said with a small shrug. “It would help legitimize my business once I’ve done so.”</p><p>She smiled at him. “I’m certain living with you in Diagon Alley would make my parents happier. They don’t seem too keen on having me back at home,” she said with a small, rueful chuckle. “Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?”</p><p>“Why do you think I secured the three bedroom flat?” he asked, squeezing the arm he had around her waist. “It would give you plenty of your own space, if you want it.”</p><p>“Alright, I’ll do it,” Hermione replied with a soft smile.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>12 July 1999</em>
</p><p>Hermione was nervous as she swirled her wand around her childhood bedroom, collecting the last of her things. It wasn’t that she was nervous about living with Severus. No, Severus was perfect. Just being in his company put her at ease, and the ways he had supported her throughout the year were more than she could ever ask for.</p><p>She was nervous about her parents. They seemed to like Severus well enough, but she worried that moving out of their house entirely would sever her connection to them. That they would feel absolved of all responsibility toward her and cut her out of their lives. That she couldn’t bear.</p><p>She wasn’t totally convinced that it would happen, but it had become a recurring nightmare: coming home, to her parent’s house, and a new family living there. Her parent’s having moved, giving her no word of where they had gone.</p><p>She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Despite everything that had happened over the last two years, her parents did love her. They were angry yes, and had every right to be, but they <em>loved</em> her.</p><p>“About ready?” her father asked with a knock on the door. Hermione turned to smile at him.</p><p>“Yep. Just the school trunk as usual,” she said, indicating the trunk on the floor. She was leaving all of her furniture behind, but taking her possessions. Her parents never explicitly said it all had to go, but she got the feeling they wanted the room for something else.</p><p>Maybe her mother would get the sewing room she always wanted... or maybe they really did want to erase her totally from their lives. It was their decision and Hermione had taken enough of their free will away. She was ready to accept whatever they chose.</p><p>Her father took one end of the trunk, and Hermione took the other, and they carried it down the stairs and out to the car just like they did every year when she went to Hogwarts. She could have offered to use her wand, but part of her liked the tradition of it. And her parents weren’t entirely comfortable around magic. Hermione was trying her best to respect that.</p><p>She climbed into the backseat of the car, just as she usually did when on her way to King’s Cross and Hogwarts. It was strange to be doing this journey in July and instead of King’s Cross, going to Diagon Alley.</p><p>“Where to?” her dad asked after her mum buckled her seatbelt.</p><p>“Charing Cross Road,” Hermione said. “The entrance to Diagon Alley. Severus is meeting us there.” She looked out the window as they made the journey. Her parents lived far enough outside of London that it took close to an hour before they were pulling up outside of the record shop that sat to the west of the Leaky Cauldron.</p><p>Severus was standing outside waiting for her, as were Professor Black and Draco.</p><p>“This is a surprise,” Hermione said as she exited the car. She introduced Regulus and Draco to her parents as she and Severus wrestled her trunk out of the boot.</p><p>“Do you want to come see?” Hermione asked, trying to not sound completely hopeful.</p><p>“Maybe another time,” her mum said absentmindedly. She tried not to let her smile falter, but from the way Severus squeezed her hand, she wasn’t sure she managed it.</p><p>After her parents left, Professor Black shrank Hermione’s trunk and picked it up. She followed the three men into the Leaky Cauldron and out the back of the pub to Diagon Alley. She hoped that wasn’t the last time she saw her parents, but couldn’t quite shake the feeling that perhaps it was.</p><p>Professor Black worked to keep her mind off of it by keeping a running commentary of everything that had changed in Diagon Alley in the last year. Finally, off of a small side alley that was only a few storefronts down from Weasleys Wizard Wheezes, they came to a stop. The alley led to three flat buildings and Professor Black led them to the very last door. He tapped the handle and the door unlocked.</p><p>“It’s an old Black property,” he explained. “There are two units available in it, and Draco’s taken the smaller one on the second floor. You and Severus have the larger flat on the third floor. There are three other tenants, one on the second floor with Draco and two on the first floor.”</p><p>The ground floor, where they entered, was a tiny vestibule with some owl post perches. They climbed the stairs to the third floor.</p><p>“Severus and I moved in last week,” Draco said as they passed the second floor. He pointed to the door on the left, indicating his flat.</p><p>When they arrived at the third floor, Hermione was surprised to see that the flat was the entire floor. Again Professor Black tapped the door handle, unlocking it and they all stepped in. Hermione smiled the moment she was inside; it was bright and airy, nothing like she had imagined. It felt like a home already.</p><p>“I hope you don’t mind that I took the liberty to help set you up with a few things,” Professor Black said quietly. Hermione shook her head and thanked him. Severus scowled.</p><p>She knew he was proud, but despite that, he still accepted help from his former friend. Hermione decided she liked that about him and offered him a small smile.</p><p>It didn’t take long for them to unpack her things and soon Professor Black and Draco were taking their leave.</p><p>Hermione thought it should have felt strange, being on her own with Severus in a new flat, but it didn’t. The flat was so welcoming and Severus was Severus. He was her soulmate. She didn’t think she could ever feel awkward in front of him.</p><p>Later that night, after their dinner of take out, and promises of going to the market in the morning, Hermione crawled into bed with Severus. It wasn’t the first time they had shared a bed, but they had never done anything more than kiss. Perhaps, that should have made her nervous too, but it didn’t. When Severus’s lips landed on hers, all she wanted was to feel his skin pressed against her.</p><p>They undressed each other slowly, taking their time and exploring one another in ways neither had explored anyone else before. It was sweet the way he kept his eyes on hers, always making sure she gave her permission before trying something new. She loved the feel of the sparse hair on his chest against her fingers, and the way his warm hands felt so large on her body. He pressed his lips to her in kisses that left her panting. He put his fingers, his lips, his tongue, seemingly everywhere.</p><p>When he brought her off with his mouth and fingers, he grinned up at her as if he’d won a prize. She laughed breathlessly at his expression until he tickled her, and they both found themselves falling out of bed in a heap of limbs and laughter.</p><p>She climbed on top of him then, his back on the floor and slid, slowly, oh, so slowly, down his straining erection. His groan filled the room and a space in her heart. It was the sexiest thing she had ever heard, and she wanted to hear it again and again. It was awkward, straddling him like this, but it didn’t seem to matter which way she moved; he liked it all. He reached his fingers up to tweak her nipples, and she arched her back in response. It was empowering, riding him like this, seeing the way his eyes tracked her every movement. He couldn’t seem to stop looking. His gaze roved from her breasts to her hips to her face and back again as his hands gripped her arse and pulled her tight against him.</p><p>She slipped a hand between them, her middle finger finding her clit and giving it just the right amount of pressure for a second, smaller orgasm. Severus’s greedy eyes never left the way her finger swirled around her sex as if he were memorizing the movements for later use. As she collapsed on top of him, he thrust his hips twice more and came with a groan in her ear.</p><p>“Bloody brilliant,” he murmured into the top of her head, his hands roaming along the expanse of her back.</p><p>“Let’s try to stay in the bed next time,” Hermione replied, rolling off of him with a grin.</p><p>“Anything you wish,” he agreed, tucking a curl behind her ear. She pulled him to her in a kiss and hoped that the rest of their lives would be as sweet.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>~Fin~</strong>
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